No Holds Barred! 02-01-07

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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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    Words of Wisdom

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one
works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is
stop diggin'.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of people:

1-The ones that learn by reading
2-The few who learn by observation,
and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for
themselves if it's really hot.

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TOP 10 SIGNS YOU HIRED THE WRONG KID TO MOW YOUR LAWN

10. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag

9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes
   of 13 cats

8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher

7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades
   with his head

6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the
   mulcher

5. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system

4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings

3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus

2. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks

1. No toes

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There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten
pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five
pounds and his balls weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to
do with him.Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked
what's wrong?
The head nurse replied,
''We don't know what to do with this baby boy.''
So the chief surgeon took one look and said,
"Well it's obvious that you should put him
into a mental institution.
Why,'' asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon,
"take a look at him.
The boy is obviously half nuts."

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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