[No Holds Barred] for MAY 22 2009

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he
noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung
off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was
wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog
and her cat.
 
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice
fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration.
 
"Thanks," the girl replied.
 
The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the
wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
 
"Little partner," the firefighter said. "I don't want to tell you how to
run
your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think
you could go faster."
 
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren."
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hidden in the Democratic drawn-up economic recovery bill: $335 million
for sexually transmitted disease prevention. I guess this is to help
hookers get off their feet and back on their backs again. (Tim Hunter)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dear Dr. Science,
I have always wondered how Rocky and Bullwinkle met and how they
became good friends? Do you know?
    -- from Natascha Sells of "Milledgeville, GA"
 
"You bet I do. Not only was I there at the Moose and Squirrel's first
rendezvous, but I was the one who arranged the meeting in the first
place. I had been hired as a consultant on the Way Back Machine, a
device they used to prop up the largely clueless dog named Mr.
Peabody. OK, so I'm somewhat bitter, having auditioned for a role that
eventually went to a cartoon dog.
Anyway, tensions were high on the set, what with the FBI and CIA
disguised as stage hands monitoring Boris Badenov and Natasha. I
managed to diffuse that tension through some simple science tricks,
making hydrogen bark, turning water into wine and back into water.
And when producer Bill Scott realized that Annette Funicello and
Bobby Darin weren't going to make it as the lead characters, I suggested
Rocky and Bullwinkle, two talkative animals I had used in lab research.
The rest is cartoon history."
 
True story from Dr. Science
http://www.drscience.com/

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
 
Being a premature ejaculator has its advantages. I made ten sex line
phone calls last month, and the total bill is just two dollars.
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jewelry Selling Secrets!
Start A Jewely & Craft Business From Home.
Kameron Kay Shows You The Insider Secrets
To Making Jewelry & Crafts And Selling Them To
Boutiques, Shops, Artist Fairs, Bead Shops, And More.
Perfect Part Time Job And Income
http://6d1965ncizu4l0d4kknqqct23w.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
 
Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when
he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
 
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling.
 
''Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss?'' he yelled.
 
No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have anotha' beer, and if my
hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done
in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I done in Texas!"
 
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer,
walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to
ride out of town.
 
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before
you go. . . what happened in Texas?"
 
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
A Klondyke.
 
You might be a redneck if...
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                             TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
New toy from Rubik
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=odd-toys0018.jpg
 
Playbot
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Playbot.jpg
 
Pulsating hypnotically
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Pulsating.gif
 
Save a horse
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Save-a-horse.jpg
 
Racial profiling
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=signs0011.jpg
 
Rich chocolate
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Snacksx011.jpg
 
This is gonna HURT!
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=asports-GonnaHurt
 
Fast Flintstones
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=amovies-0185.jpg
 
FREE BEER               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sign011
 
Drink & Drive                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=spillbillb
 
Spearfish sports                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sports0012
 
Tender moment                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Tender-moments
 
They Shake Me            
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=tshirts4babys008
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Slo Mo Director
 
Slow Down Video WMV & AVI.
Currently Used To Learn, Music, Languages, Martial Arts, Dancing, Golf.
Innovative Video Playback At Pitch Maintained Speeds
With A Unique Repeat Facility.
http://02c860cjorv3n66mhcuk4mfs7h.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                         MORE TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Air Poland
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000027.html
 
Airbag Cell
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000028.html
 
Doggie Kisses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32155.htm
 
Going To Sleep
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32156.htm
 
It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm
 
One More
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkknjjhj.htm
 
I Can Do You One Better
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgfr.htm
 
he's depressed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c012.html
 
naked chick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0107.html
 
penis doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0109.html
 
consequences
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0110.html
 
a spoiled dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f091.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                               FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Carl Barron - Montreal Comedy Festival 2006
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a39fS-82HE
 
Doggy Style Blog
http://www.maddogblog.com/
 
Conflict in the Middle East
http://dareland.blogspot.com/2009/05/auto-tune-news-2.html
 
ALL girls should learn this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0I0FF9laz4
 
Construction goof-ups
http://www.crookedbrains.net/2009/03/construction.html
 
Extreme poodle makeover
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poodlemakeover.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Get Paid to do Surveys
 
http://b6c572qji0s3r31md2ovbkbpab.hop.clickbank.net/
or
http://15988yh5hxqzke581mwi99aod8.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                            GAME TIME
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Are You A Flirt?
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=17566&s=n
 
Warlords Heroes
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39662&s=n
 
Robokill Shooting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39663&s=n
 
Sniper WWII
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39966&s=n
 
Dog Fight 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39661&s=n
 
6 full on games for the week end
http://www.jokeroo.com/games/index.html
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                    Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Come flirt with us!
A bunch of fine encounter groups here
for you to ...perhaps...
Meet your next true love!
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/encn.html
 
====================
 
Get a jolt of inspiration in your life!
Let your mailbox bring GOOD tidings for a change.
Drop by here for a nice morale boost.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/insp.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
 
Here's all my fun sites and groups....
http://able2laugh.com/maillists.html
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
 
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JE - Downsizing

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thursday 21st May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
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this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Soon home!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Downsizing - Everyone's at it
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/downsizing.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/downsizing.htm "> AOL </a>

Army Target Practice
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/army.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/army.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
A woman calls a clinic and says she hasn't been able to sleep because her
dog snores too loudly. The doctor told her to tie a ribbon around his balls
and he will shutup. The woman goes to her bedroom and sees her dog lieing on
the floor snoring. She gets a red ribbon and ties it around his balls. The
dog stops snoring. The woman goes to sleep. After a while, her husband comes
home drunk. He lays in bed and falls fast asleep. He starts to snore loudly
so the woman gets a blue ribbon and ties it around his balls. The next
morning the woman gets up and goes to work. The man wakes up and sees the
blue ribbon on his balls. Then he looks down at the dog and sees the red
ribbon around his balls.

The guy says to the dog, ''I don't know what we did
last night, but we got first and second place!''

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

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© Copyright 2008 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.
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JE - Star Trek Racism

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tuesday 19th May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
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+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Away..

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Star Trek Racism
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/star_trek_racism.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/star_trek_racism.htm "> AOL </a>

Who Sleeps?
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/sleeps.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/sleeps.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
Barack Obama is visiting an Edinburgh hospital.
He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or
illness.
He greets one.

The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face,/
Great chieftain o' the puddin race,/
Aboon them a ye tak' yer place,/
Painch, tripe or thairm,/
Weel are ye worthy o' a Grace, as langs my airm."

Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The next patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat,/
And some wad eat that want it,/
But we hae meat an we can eat,/
So let the Good Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the President moves
on to the next patient,
who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,/
O whit a panic's in thy breasty,/
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,/
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and
asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'
'No,' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit'.

NB: Refer to Burns night on Wikipedia if necessary!

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

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[No Holds Barred] for MAY 15 2009

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JE - Beware Teen Drivers

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thursday 14th May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving
this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
On vacation

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Beware - Teenage Drivers
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/teenage_drivers.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/teenage_drivers.htm "> AOL </a>

Leprechaun Name Generator
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/name.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/name.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday,
and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration,
he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but
not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and
bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the
gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the
contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart
with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your
sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she
wears short ones that are easier to remove.

"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me
the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were
hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt
other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see
you again.

"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them
away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I
hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.

"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
showing."

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

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[No Holds Barred] for MAY 12 2009

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Bubba from Biloxi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm
and says, "Darlin', this is the pig I have sex with when you have a
headache."
 
From his bed, his wife sneers, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you
dolt!"
 
Bubba replies, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to YOU!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
 
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The bank robber
 
You gotta love a guy who can think on his feet!
 
A man walks into a bank, gets in line and when it's his turn he pulls out
a gun ... and robs the bank.
 
But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses he turns around and asks
the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
 
The customer replies..."YES!"
 
The bank robber raises his gun, points it to his head and ...Bang!!!!!
...shoots him in the head and kills him. He quickly moves to the next
customer in line and says to the man....
"DID ...YOU ... SEE ... ME ... ROB THIS BANK????
 
The man calmly responds, "No ... But my wife did."
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Hillary's campaign is claiming she misspoke when she said she landed
under gun fire during her trip to Bosnia. Turns out it was gun fire on a
trip to L.A.              --- Jay Leno
 
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Secret Recipes from your Favorite restaurants!
 
We'll Teach You the  Jealously Guarded Secrets
Behind Actual Dishes From Billion Dollar Restaurants Like
 The Cheesecake Factory®, KFC®, The Olive Garden®, PF Chang's®,
Red Lobster®, Chili's®... (plus many others)
and Show You How to Easily Make Them at Home!
http://f913b5d6nsx5oaeosavdfq0sal.hop.clickbank.net/

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A young soldier is being reprimanded by his commanding officer for
moving and giving away his position during a camouflage and
concealment exercise.
 
"Young man, don't you realise your comrades are depending on you?
You could have gotten them all killed!" the commander shouts.
 
"Yes sir, I know, but I thought I'd done rather well up to that point",
the soldier replies. "I didn't flinch when the wasp landed on my nose, I
didn't move when the bird crapped on my head and I didn't say a thing
when the dog cocked it's leg on my boots. But when I felt the two
squirrels run up my trouser leg and heard one say, 'Let's have half now
and save the other one for winter' I couldn't help myself!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss America?
 
A bore is someone who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.
-- Henry Ford
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                             TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Honesty
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Honesty-2.jpg
 
Prize bird
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=HumanFoodx015.jpg
 
Jug eyes (wait for it)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=JUG-EYES.gif
 
Ball kockers
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Knockers.jpg
 
Lean on me
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Lean-On.jpg
 
LMAO!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=LMAO.jpg
 
Arena cleanup                     
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=history-Arena_cleanup.jpg
 
DRAT!     
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=history-DRAT!.gif
 
Homer Rock            
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=HomerRock.jpg
 
Just One Drink                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=just-one-drink.JPG
 
Maze            
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Maze.jpg
 
Cats & Dogma                      
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=movies-0046.jpg
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
It really IS a New Age!
LEARN, or IMPROVE yourself in all these ways!
 
Astral Projection * Meditation * Anxiety Aid
Remote Viewing * Lucid Dreaming * Past Life Regression
Confidence Builder * Aura Viewing * Creativity
Endorphin Release * Increase Health * Addiction Help
Relaxation * Memory Enhancer * Telepathy
 
http://b635exj7rzovh12erc1cryq91z.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                         MORE TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
African Americans
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000022.html
 
After 6 Beers
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000023.html
 
Ben and Jerry's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b060.html
 
goggles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b062.html
 
Bigfoot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b063.html
 
A request
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0105.html
 
Mammogram
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0106.html
 
Was it Worth It
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42534.htm
 
Leave your Shoes On
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42533.htm
 
Found Your Clitoris
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42532.htm
 
Iceberg
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42530.htm
 
Free Vd
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42529.htm
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                               FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Original, crazy videos by Larry Graves aka the Canadian Studmuffin
(subscribe and get sent notices of the new ones)
http://www.youtube.com/canadianstudmuffin
 
Topless Car Wash prank
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?i=40117&pid=3436&u=3463
 
Swine Flu Fight Song
http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000048.html
 
Optical Illusions
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2007/07/optical-illusions-update.html
 
25 disturbing sex toys (get both pages)
http://www.cracked.com/article_16032_25-most-disturbing-sex-toys.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
SCREW Illegal movie dowmnloading!
 
Get all the movies you want LEGALLY for VERY cheap.
They have many different download packages...
their BEST is UNLIMITED downloads for 2 years for $40!
How many movies can YOU download in TWO YEARS???
 
http://e598d7fjtoz5na3k1fl8tb-e0r.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                            GAME TIME
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Age of War
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39666&s=n
 
Rise of Atlantis
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39072&s=n
 
How Sexy Are You?
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=37008&s=n
 
Find a Word
http://www.castlemountains.com/wordfind/wordfind350.html
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
Nice variety of Adult games for home or party!
Various Sip 'n Strips - Truth Or Dare - Pecker Ring Toss - Body Bingo
Lots More!  Check it out!
http://tinyurl.com/5ghcmo
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                    Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Do you like to change your wallpaper regularly?
 
Do you love getting new pictures and artwork in your mail?
 
Well...you've come to the right place for them all!
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/art.html
 
==========================
 
Get some naughty humor
Every day in your mail
Tons of fun lists here
For all your sniggering needs!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/a-hum.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
 
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
 
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
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JE - Corruption reigns

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tuesday 12th May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
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this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
On vacation (you like the change of semantics!?)

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Corruption
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/corrupts.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/corrupts.htm "> AOL </a>

Octopus Eats Self
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/octopus.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/octopus.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable
discovery.

Because of a shortage of available human blood,

It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit
from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

+ Contact Information
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This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X
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JE - Star Trek Returns

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
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Thursday 7th May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
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this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Still on hols..

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Star Trek Returns
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/star_trek.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/star_trek.htm "> AOL </a>

Tooth In Your Foot?
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/tooth.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/tooth.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one
hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half.
He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out
the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in
front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip
and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few
bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and
whispering "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for
the two of them."

As the man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He
politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
replies that they''re just fine - they''re just used to sharing
everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn''t eaten a
bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another
meal for them.

This time the old woman says "No, thank you, we are used to sharing
everything."

As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin,
the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to
eat a single bite of food and asks "May I ask what is it you are
waiting for?"

The old woman answers... "THE TEETH."

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

+ Contact Information
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JE - Budget Cuts

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tuesday 5th May, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
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this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
On hols...

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Budget Cuts
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/budget_cuts.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/budget_cuts.htm "> AOL </a>

No Hot Chicks Were Harmed
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/harmed.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/harmed.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
Fred had a week off and decided to play golf every day.

Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive woman,
Annette, who turned out to be a very good golfer.
They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine it was a
full-blown competition.

On the 18th green, Annette sank her long birdie putt for the win. Fred
congratulated her and paid off his losses.
Annette asked for a ride home and, on the way, told him, 'You know,
Fred, I haven't enjoyed myself so much on the golf course in a long
time. In fact, pull over so I can express my appreciation.' Hee did,
they kissed, and one thing led to another and soon she gave him the
best or£l s3x he'd ever had.

The next morning, they met again on the first tee and played together
again. They had another magnificent day, enjoying each other's company
and playing tight, competitive golf.

Again Annette beat him, but she also showed her appreciation on the
drive home.

This went on all week, with Fred narrowly losing every day, his male
ego bruised, but not unhappy.

On Friday's drive home, Fred said, 'Annette, you've been great to be
with all this week and tonight I'd like to return the favour. I made
reservations at the best restaurant in town for us and reserved the
penthouse suite at the best hotel. What do you say?'

Annette burst into tears. 'I can't!'

'What? Why not?' he asked.

'Because,' she sobbed, 'I'm in the middle of a s3x change and the
doctor hasn't completed that part of me yet!'

'What?!' Aghast, Fred swerved off the road, screeched to a stop and
cursed madly, overcome with emotion.

'I'm so sorry,' says Annette, 'You have a right to be angry with
me.'

'You b£stard!' Fred screamed, his face bright red. 'You cheating
b£stard! All week long you've been playing off the women's tees!'

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

+ Contact Information
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JE - Spilt Load

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
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Thursday 30th April, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
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+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Still packing and getting ready for hols.
Got the suncream at the ready!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Spilt Load
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/spilt_load.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/spilt_load.htm "> AOL </a>

Lions Eat Sloth
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/lions.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/lions.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in
the office. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for
dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey,
what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

"Ralph, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
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+ Contact Information
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