Saturday, 23 May 2009

[No Holds Barred] for MAY 22 2009

${top_html_ad}
                     \\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
 
                           Welcome to all the new subscribers!
            Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
              PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he
noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung
off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was
wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog
and her cat.
 
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice
fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration.
 
"Thanks," the girl replied.
 
The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the
wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
 
"Little partner," the firefighter said. "I don't want to tell you how to
run
your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think
you could go faster."
 
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren."
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hidden in the Democratic drawn-up economic recovery bill: $335 million
for sexually transmitted disease prevention. I guess this is to help
hookers get off their feet and back on their backs again. (Tim Hunter)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dear Dr. Science,
I have always wondered how Rocky and Bullwinkle met and how they
became good friends? Do you know?
    -- from Natascha Sells of "Milledgeville, GA"
 
"You bet I do. Not only was I there at the Moose and Squirrel's first
rendezvous, but I was the one who arranged the meeting in the first
place. I had been hired as a consultant on the Way Back Machine, a
device they used to prop up the largely clueless dog named Mr.
Peabody. OK, so I'm somewhat bitter, having auditioned for a role that
eventually went to a cartoon dog.
Anyway, tensions were high on the set, what with the FBI and CIA
disguised as stage hands monitoring Boris Badenov and Natasha. I
managed to diffuse that tension through some simple science tricks,
making hydrogen bark, turning water into wine and back into water.
And when producer Bill Scott realized that Annette Funicello and
Bobby Darin weren't going to make it as the lead characters, I suggested
Rocky and Bullwinkle, two talkative animals I had used in lab research.
The rest is cartoon history."
 
True story from Dr. Science
http://www.drscience.com/

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
 
Being a premature ejaculator has its advantages. I made ten sex line
phone calls last month, and the total bill is just two dollars.
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jewelry Selling Secrets!
Start A Jewely & Craft Business From Home.
Kameron Kay Shows You The Insider Secrets
To Making Jewelry & Crafts And Selling Them To
Boutiques, Shops, Artist Fairs, Bead Shops, And More.
Perfect Part Time Job And Income
http://6d1965ncizu4l0d4kknqqct23w.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
 
Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when
he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
 
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling.
 
''Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss?'' he yelled.
 
No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have anotha' beer, and if my
hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done
in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I done in Texas!"
 
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer,
walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to
ride out of town.
 
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before
you go. . . what happened in Texas?"
 
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
A Klondyke.
 
You might be a redneck if...
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                             TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
New toy from Rubik
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=odd-toys0018.jpg
 
Playbot
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Playbot.jpg
 
Pulsating hypnotically
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Pulsating.gif
 
Save a horse
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Save-a-horse.jpg
 
Racial profiling
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=signs0011.jpg
 
Rich chocolate
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Snacksx011.jpg
 
This is gonna HURT!
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=asports-GonnaHurt
 
Fast Flintstones
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=amovies-0185.jpg
 
FREE BEER               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sign011
 
Drink & Drive                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=spillbillb
 
Spearfish sports                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sports0012
 
Tender moment                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Tender-moments
 
They Shake Me            
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=tshirts4babys008
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Slo Mo Director
 
Slow Down Video WMV & AVI.
Currently Used To Learn, Music, Languages, Martial Arts, Dancing, Golf.
Innovative Video Playback At Pitch Maintained Speeds
With A Unique Repeat Facility.
http://02c860cjorv3n66mhcuk4mfs7h.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                         MORE TOONS
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Air Poland
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000027.html
 
Airbag Cell
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000028.html
 
Doggie Kisses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32155.htm
 
Going To Sleep
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32156.htm
 
It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm
 
One More
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkknjjhj.htm
 
I Can Do You One Better
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgfr.htm
 
he's depressed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c012.html
 
naked chick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0107.html
 
penis doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0109.html
 
consequences
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0110.html
 
a spoiled dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f091.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                               FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Carl Barron - Montreal Comedy Festival 2006
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a39fS-82HE
 
Doggy Style Blog
http://www.maddogblog.com/
 
Conflict in the Middle East
http://dareland.blogspot.com/2009/05/auto-tune-news-2.html
 
ALL girls should learn this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0I0FF9laz4
 
Construction goof-ups
http://www.crookedbrains.net/2009/03/construction.html
 
Extreme poodle makeover
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poodlemakeover.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Get Paid to do Surveys
 
http://b6c572qji0s3r31md2ovbkbpab.hop.clickbank.net/
or
http://15988yh5hxqzke581mwi99aod8.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                            GAME TIME
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Are You A Flirt?
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=17566&s=n
 
Warlords Heroes
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39662&s=n
 
Robokill Shooting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39663&s=n
 
Sniper WWII
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39966&s=n
 
Dog Fight 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39661&s=n
 
6 full on games for the week end
http://www.jokeroo.com/games/index.html
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                    Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Come flirt with us!
A bunch of fine encounter groups here
for you to ...perhaps...
Meet your next true love!
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/encn.html
 
====================
 
Get a jolt of inspiration in your life!
Let your mailbox bring GOOD tidings for a change.
Drop by here for a nice morale boost.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/insp.html
 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
 
Here's all my fun sites and groups....
http://able2laugh.com/maillists.html
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
 
${bottom_html_ad}
 --^^--------------------------------------------------------------- This email was sent to: ${recipient}  EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://www.topica.com/?pXFOOTER --^^--------------------------------------------------------------- 

No comments: