[No Holds Barred] for MAR 30 2009

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Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Fruits
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010HumanFoodx014.jpg
 
New Age Yoga
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010New-Age-yoga.jpg
 
Tweaked off
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Pissed.jpg
 
Real prude
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010PRUDE.jpg
 
Sand in vagina
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010sand-in-vagina.jpg
 
Boob boosting
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Shoppingx009.jpg
 
May I borrow some Uranium 238?                   
http://tinyurl.com/ar2z9w
 
Pride & Predator   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=movies-0045.jpg
 
Bad music               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=music.jpg
 
New Orleans city proposal                     
http://tinyurl.com/d9ol9z
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Abandon All Hope
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000008.html
 
Absolut
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000009.html
 
I don't understand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v031.html
 
In the emergency room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v032.html
 
Not now, please
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v033.html
 
Get up and do it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u034.html
 
Not what you think
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u035.html
 
Optical oddity      
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Optical_Illusion0017.jpg
 
Profound!      
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Profound.jpg
 
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes..com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Your Own Online Dollar Store...FREE!
 
- Start Instantly
- Unlimited Potential
- We provide you with thousands of products to use
- Hurry, limited availability!
 
http://tinyurl.com/dcg7g6
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
 
That Was Then, This Is Cheez Whiz
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_cheezwhiz.htm
 
Tim Wilson - It's a Sorry World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMGs-b3p9FU
 
Stephen Hawking Sex Tape
http://www.youtube.com/v/LaLIBrWNoOY
 
Got burned in love?  GET EVEN!
http://www.revengecrabs.com/
 
April Fools goodies
Here is a couple pages full of gag programs and such for your
downloading pleasure...
http://www.thefreesite.com/Seasonal_Freebies/April_Fools/
http://www.computerpranks.com/
 
Here's a bunch of prank stories....
many of which could be useful this April Fools.
http://www.computerpranks..com/stories/
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
GAME TIME
 
Green Terror Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39667&s=n
 
Wordelicious
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39769&s=n
 
Mahjong
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39767&s=n
 
Cube Field
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39743&s=n
 
Stunt Bike Draw 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39742&s=n
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath.
 
This made him.... a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Growing old is inevitable...growing up is optional.
 
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the
confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the
street and asked him to cover for him.
 
The rabbi was concerned that he wouldn't know what to say, but the
priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit
and show him what to do.
 
The rabbi comes, and he and the priest go into the confessional
together. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father,
forgive me for I have sinned."
 
The priest asks, "What did you do?"
 
The woman says, "I committed adultery."
 
Priest: "How many times?"
 
Woman: "Three times."
 
Priest: "Say three Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no
more."
 
A few minutes later, a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father,
forgive me for I have sinned."
 
Priest: "What did you do?"
 
Man: "I committed adultery."
 
Priest: "How many times?"
 
Man: "Three times."
 
Priest: "Say three Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no
more."
 
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.
 
A few minutes later, another woman enters and says, "Father, forgive
me for I have sinned."
 
Rabbi: "What did you do?"
 
Woman: "I committed adultery."
 
Rabbi: "How many times?"
 
Woman: "Once."
 
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three
for $5.00"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
 
Death is hereditary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Language Professor
 
The Easiest way to learn a language
GREAT for all Ages!
 
Learn 22 languages! 
Get your 10 day trial software FREE!
http://tinyurl.com/dny2r4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client anyway. She
thinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk. He won't even notice anything."
 
She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there, takes him to the
nearest hotel and they spend the night together.
 
The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute is already gone
by then). As he starts to get out of bed he sees that his hands are
covered in blood. He starts running around the room, saying to
himself in panic, "Oh, my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!..."
 
As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops, looks at
himself for a second and then screams, "Oh, my God!!! And I ate
her, too!!!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and
makes it sound confusing.
 
"If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, it can create the consoling
illusion that it has been mastered."    -- Stanley Kubrick
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Not enough naughty chuckles in your day?
 
Then you need to head over here for a fine selection
of jokes, toons, videos, fun stories...and MORE!
Get them delivered daily!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/a-var1.html

======
 
Housework getting you down?
Make that dreary job easier and more fun NOW!
Get lots of creative housework helpers...
for cleaning, decorating, cooking, and more.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/house..html
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
 
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
 
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
 
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Fun4U: Nun Too Resourceful

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A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her
    rounds when she ran out of gas.  As luck would have it there was a
    station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can
    with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
 
 The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just
    been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would
    be back shortly. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she
    decided not to wait and walked back to her car
 
 After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill
    with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always
    resourceful, she carried it to the station and filled it with gasoline.
 
 As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car two men walked by. One
    was heard to exclaim, "Now that is what I call faith!"
 
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Fun4U: Lobster Tales

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A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read, "Big Lobster
    Tales, $5 each."
 
 Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress,
    "Five dollars each for lobster tails -- is that correct?"
 
 "Yes," she said. "It's our special just for today."
 
 "Well," he said, "they must be little lobster tails."
 
 "No," she replied, "it's the really big lobster."
 
 "Are you sure they aren't green lobster tails -- and a little bit tough?"
 
 "No," she said, "it's the really big red lobster."
 
 "Big red lobster tails, $5 each?" he said, amazed. "They must be old
    lobster tails!"
 
 "No, they're definitely today's."
 
 "Today's big red lobster tails -- $5 each?" he repeated, astounded.
 
 "Yes," she insisted.
 
 "Well, here's my five dollars," he said. "I'll take one."
 
 She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to sit
    down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder,
    leaned over close to him, and said, "Once upon a time there was a
    really big red lobster..."
 
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[No Holds Barred] for MAR 27 2009

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

JE - Motorcycle Attire

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thursday 26th March, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving
this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.

+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So I may have bamboozled you with moving this week to a Tuesday
and Thursday schedule! Fear not, it won't continue - back to usual
next week. I need to get this issue out of the way since we're out
straight from the office tomorrow, which may well be carnage, but with
the HR girls leading the charge, one can hardly say no, can he?!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Bikini on a Motorbike
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/bikini_motorcycle.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/bikini_motorcycle.htm "> AOL </a>

Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/do_beer.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/do_beer.htm "> AOL </a>

Clayside
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/clayside.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/clayside.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how
you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size
as kids. I just don't get it.'

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.'

'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'

'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock
the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the $hit out of
them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the $hit
out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an a$shole and a briefcase.

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

+ Contact Information
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info.
Advertising info: http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm

This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X
© Copyright 2008 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.
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[No Holds Barred] for MAR 25 2009

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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Dinner is served!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010dinner-served.jpg
 
Drink Up!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010DrinkUpx010.jpg
 
Freaky sex    (naughty alert)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010freak01.jpg
 
K-Mart
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010K-Mart_Warning.jpg
 
Horny Toad
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010HornyToad.jpg
 
Judgement
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Judgement.jpg
 
Signs of Alien                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Alien-sign.jpg
              
"Before" Photo              
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=before-photo.JPG
 
Police cadet              
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=CadetPoliceman.jpg
 
Dig That Crazy Coffin!         
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Cool-car68.jpg
 
ONLY  
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=dsign110.jpg
 
Best candidate                  
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=ELECTION.jpg
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Papa Thorn here.  I have to tell you a sad story. A VERY good
friend moved away 2 weeks ago to Colorado.  He couldn't find
work for OVER a YEAR.  But he is a vidoe games freak...and
REALLY good at it.  So I suggested he pick up something I've been
promoting for awhile now...a way to make money playing video
games.  Damned if he didn't, and after sending off a resume to only
FOUR of the places referred to....is now making $20 an hour
playing video games all day!!  I'm NOT making this up...and I wish
I had never shown it to him because now I'll never see him again,
since he decided to not do the online thing but instead moved to
work in-house for them. That way he gets full vacation and medical
benefits.  But...at least I can verify that this offer DOES work. 
Just be careful who you share it with.
http://able2laff.gamertest.hop.clickbank.net/
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Cheer leader
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050633.htm
 
Check up
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050634.htm
 
CHEF
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050635.htm
 
Chicken Shit
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050639.htm
 
Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
 
A Clock For Engineers
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000003.html
 
A Fool and His Money
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000004.html
 
Right click
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0137.html
 
I'm not sure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0138.html
 
Little does she know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0139.html
 
Sorry for the delay
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0121.html
 
The doctors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0122.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes..com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
 
PARIS IN JAIL: The Music Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k66epna2Sss
 
Tim Wilson - 100 Things
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgyrWoD9-04
 
Extreme Sheep LED Art
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw
 
The Best Home Improvement Tool EVER!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mnPinUvBuM
 
Murphy's Laws of Combat
http://www.nerdsfromhell..com/combat.htm
 
Tactile illusions
http://www..newscientist.com/special/tactile-illusions
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
GAME TIME
 
Fishdom Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39076&s=n
 
Warlords Heroes
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39662&s=n
 
SHORT TERM MEMORY CHECKER
http://neutralx0.net/home/mini04.html
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
Adult games for your gaming fun!
Lots of free games...Members get full versions!
http://www.eadultgames.com/ref/1798419
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
What Gets Longer When Pulled,
 
Fits Between your Boobs,
 
Inserts Neatly in a Hole
 
AND Works Best When Jerked?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
 
A Seatbelt you Pervert! Buckle Up!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose,
black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad
fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his
son what happened.
 
"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you
know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
 
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
 
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese in the trap.
 
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why are you still single?
Don't spend another weekend alone
There is someone waiting to meet you
 
Meet Local Singles
http://tinyurl.com/cdxgfe
 
Solution for singles over 30
http://tinyurl.com/dlcy4j
 
Romance Over 40 Club
http://tinyurl.com/czlypp
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The doctor walks up to Bill in the hospital and says, "I'm
sorry, but your wife is very weak. I don't think she's going
to make it until morning. Try and comfort her as best you
can."
 
Bill goes into her room, and says, "Dear, the doctor says
things are very bleak. Is there anything I can do to comfort
you in your last hours?"
 
She whispers, "Well, all these years we've been married, I'd
always wished that one day you'd screw me in the ass,
but you never have. Would you please do that?"
 
Bill is astounded, but it's her last request, so he
figures he should do whatever she desires. Let's face
it, he's thrilled. He rolls her over, lifts her nightie,
and proceeds to skewer her manure for hours.
 
The next morning the doctor looks in on her, and he
can't believe it! She's made an incredible rally, and
is rapidly regaining her strength and her health! By
noon, she's up and walking.
 
The doctor is flabbergasted. He pulls Bill out into the
hall and gasps, "My God, man! She's like new! She's
going to live to be a hundred and twenty! What the hell
did you do in there?"
 
Bill is a little embarrassed by the whole situation. He
says, "Well, Doc, I...I...I just...I just screwed her in
the ass. Why?"
 
The doctor starts to cry uncontrollably. Bill asks,
"Doc...what's wrong?"
 
The doctor sobs, "I could have saved my father"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 
The definition of 69 is when you and your girlfriend
see eye-to-thigh.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Come flirt with us!
A bunch of fine encounter groups here
for you to ...perhaps...
Meet your next true love!
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/encn.html
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Do You Like To Get Free Stuff In The Mail?
Get a daily selection of Freebies, coupons,
and unbelievable deals here.
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/free.html
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
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Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
 
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JE - Definite Proof

Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
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Tuesday 24th March, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving
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+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sorry for lack of emails over the last few days.
Been super busy, but promise to do better!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Proof that things could be worse
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/proof1.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/proof1.htm "> AOL </a>

Ocean Express
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/ocean.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/ocean.htm "> AOL </a>

Shopping Cart Hero
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/shopping.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/shopping.htm "> AOL </a>

+ General Joke
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time
removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with
olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse
me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what
was that all about?" "Nothin', said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out
for a jar of olives!"

For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm

+ Contact Information
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info.
Advertising info: http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm

This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X
© Copyright 2008 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.
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[No Holds Barred] for MAR 22 2009

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      \\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
 
       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Buggery
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010buggery.jpg
 
Cupid's brother
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010cupids-brother.jpg
 
Bananna split
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Dessertx017.jpg
 
Gangbang
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010gangbang_2.jpg
 
Honesty
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010HONESTY.jpg
 
Apple Surprise
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010applehead.jpg
 
Tech support                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=techspprt.JPG
 
Back to Work                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=tshirt-035.jpg
 
Catactica                
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=TVshow-Catactica.jpg
 
Say "CHEESE!"          
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=WhyBother.jpg
 
Aliens' favorite cereal                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=ad-giger-nuts.jpg
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Why are you still single?
Don't spend another weekend alone
There is someone waiting to meet you
 
Meet Local Singles
http://tinyurl.com/cdxgfe
 
Solution for singles over 30
http://tinyurl.com/dlcy4j
 
Romance Over 40 Club
http://tinyurl.com/czlypp
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Total agreement             
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=agreement.jpg
 
Strange transformation
http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/5101/sourcealien.jpg
 
A Cats Map Of The Bed
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000001.html
 
A Clean House
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000002.html
 
Second wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g007.html
 
Topless woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g008.html
 
Lois I want you to know...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0134.html
 
Sign you are on a bad date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0135.html
 
A frightening discovery
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f0136.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes..com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
 
Become a human lie detector
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php
 
For the person with everything...
Gold plated goodies
http://www.oobject.com/category/revolting-gold-gadgets/
 
Toby Keith - Beer for my Horses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDWpQFJ6uls
 
Tunnel of Death
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001487.html
 
Smart girl
http://tinyurl.com/c7dg4z
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
GAME TIME
 
Spin & Win
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38757&s=n
 
Shape Solitaire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38755&s=n
 
Poker Superstars II
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38753&s=n
 
Ocean Express
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38752&s=n
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in a Vero Beach Adult
community.  A man walked over and sits down on the other end
of the bench.
 
After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"
 
He replies, "I lived here years ago."
 
"So, where were you all these years?"
 
"In prison," he says.
 
"Why did they put you in prison?"
 
He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."
 
"Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single?"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in
Scottsdale, Arizona :
 
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH
    APART.
 
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
 
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
 
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
 
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
 
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
 
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD
    OF YOU.
 
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
 
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
 
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
 
WELL DONE.
 
NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
In Florida...
 
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. 
 
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
You've tried every diet that you can think of,
but the pounds won't go away.
 
It's time to flush out all of those excess pounds
of waste and toxins that have built up in your body
and begin achieving your weight loss goals with Veggie9.
 
Get your FREE 15 day trial of Veggie9 today!
http://tinyurl.com/c4lens
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A farmer stopped by the local  mechanic shop to have his
truck fixed.  They couldn't do it while he waited, so he
said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
 
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and
bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then  stopped
by the feedstore and picked up a couple of chickens and a
goose.  However, struggling outside the store he now had
a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
 
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a
little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked,
"Can you tell me how to get to 1603  Mockingbird Lane?"
 
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is
very close to that house. I would walk you there but I
can't carry this  lot."
 
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of
paint in the bucket; carry the bucket in one hand; put a
chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other
hand?"
 
"Why thank you very much," he said and  proceeded to
walk the old girl home.
 
On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down
this alley. We'll be there in no time."
 
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said,
"I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How
do I know that when we get in  the alley you won't hold
me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your
way with me?"
 
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a
bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose.
How in the world could I possibly hold you up against
the wall and do that?"
 
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him
with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and
I'll hold the chickens."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
In Arizona...
 
Hunting camels is prohibited.
 
You may not have more than two dildos per household. 
 
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is
considered a felony (This goes back to the days of the
Wild West). 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Dragon Laffs by Impish Dragon
Start your day off with a laugh!
Dragon Laffs is an adult ezine with jokes, cartoons, pictures
and lots of other stuff.
A megabyte or 3 in size and mailed out 6 times a week. (Usually)
Send a blank email to: DragonLaffs-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Battling the world's B.S. with one laugh at a time.
 
==========================
 
Your favorite place to find fun groups to join
has OVER 30 new groups for you to choose from!
Quite a variety of new goodies for all.
Listmasters especially pay attention.
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/new.html
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
 
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
 
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
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[No Holds Barred] for MAR 20 2009

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      \\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
 
       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Stretch
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Stretch2.jpg
 
Suck faster!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Suck-Faster.jpg
 
Emo is gay
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009tshirt-008.jpg
 
Turban
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Turban.jpg
 
Well hung
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009well-endowed_3.jpg
 
Bastard
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010ad-bastard.jpg
 
Bun-dled up
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Sandwich001.jpg
 
Good lunch snack
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Shopping003.jpg
 
Push for Service
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sign009.jpg
 
Speed Limits
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=SpeedLimit_2.jpg
 
Rough ski slope
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sports0010.jpg
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Lose weight by replacing one meal a day
with a delicious Slim Shake!
 
- Only 10 calories and 2 carbs per serving
- With Antioxidants Acai Berry and Green Tea
- 6 delicious recipes to choose from
 
Get 15 shakes and Atkins bar on us. Just pay shipping!
Click here for a 15 day trial:
http://tinyurl.com/9mhn9o
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Sexual Harassment at Work
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39654&s=n
 
Somebody Call the Cops
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39675&s=n
 
Toilet In Jungle
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001432.html
 
Garfield - Your Face Licked
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001375.html
 
Following directions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g020.html
 
I discovered
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g015.html
 
Remember me?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g014.html
 
Poor man's vacation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g012.html
 
Cockroach birthdays
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g006.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
 
Table Soccer Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38555&s=n
 
Dancing Yoda
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=20494&s=n
 
Boob Caramel Dip
http://tinyurl.com/djlzo3
 
David Crowe - Addicted to Petroleum
http://tinyurl.com/cz34f6
 
Tim Wilson - But I Could Be Wrong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-5d5IfdYK4
 
Critters that MAY be undiscovered out there so far...
http://www.pibburns.com/cryptozo.htm
 
Doggy Style Blog
http://www.maddogblog.com/
 
Any Soldier...helping out, one soldier at a time
http://anysoldier.com/
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
GAME TIME
 
Darkness Reborn RPG
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39665&s=n
 
Green Terror Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39667&s=n
 
Robokill Shooting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39663&s=n
 
Stunt Dirt Bike
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39082&s=n
 
6 full on games for the week end
http://www.jokeroo.com/games/index.html
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
When Nick's wife had her second child she purchased Nick a blue
T- shirt for father's day with big white letters NTSD on the front.
 
Her friend asked her at work one day what the letters meant.
 
She replied, "Nick thinks it means 'Nick's The Special Dad', but
actually it stands for 'Not The Sperm Donor'."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Dear Dr. Science,
I've read that 12 nightcrawlers per square foot of soil surface can
create about 50 tons of fertilizer per acre. Do these worms ever
sleep?   -- from Rand Moorehead of " Beverly Hills, MI"
  
 "No, but they often go on vacation, sometimes as far as thousands
of acres away. It depends on their union. Yes, earthworms are
unionized, and they vacation on acreage purchased by their unions
just to give them somewhere to rest and stop working the soil.
 
As with most unions, the International Brotherhood of Slimefellows
is notoriously corrupt and rivalry between grubworms and tumble
bugs has resulted in violent turf wars.
 
Troops of neutral grasshoppers were brought in the negotiate a
truce, but so far all efforts have proven fruitless.
 
Speaking of fruit, a nudist colony of fruit flies has caused quite a
stir in the insect kingdom, resulting in new regulatory committees
to study leisure time in insects. I guess life is complicated no matter
what your genus."
 
Swiped from Dr Science
DrScience-subscribe@yahoog roups.com
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A Cub Scout becomes a Boy Scout when he eats a Brownie.
 
Every one should believe in something--
I believe I'll have another drink!
 
Friends come & go...but enemies accumulate.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
AS SEEN ON TV
Never Scrub your toilet bowl again. 
 
Try NeverScrub! for free.
 
NeverScrub! from KABOOM
- Snaps into your toilet tank in about 1 minute
- Keeps your bowl clean for 3-5 months
- Cleans thoroughly, even under the rim
 
http://tinyurl.com/5gdkm4
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
 
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
 
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson
had a baby!"
 
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
 
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's
gotta hurt."
 
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
 
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of child-birth?"
 
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
 
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
 
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
 
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to
$3.00 a can.  that's almost $21.00 in dog money. 
--Joe Weinstein
 
What does a vagina and mustard have in common?
You can dip your sausage in both.
 
"An elementary school in Santa Monica is banning tag from the
playground. They're afraid that the game could affect children's
self esteem. This also could prevent the spread of 'kooties'."
--Jay Leno
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
If you're interested in anything Military
Then you need to Cruise by here
Enlist some good Services
To keep you informed and amused
 
http://able2laff.com/EZ/milty.html
 
===================================
 
Not very computer savvy?
 
Get ways to make your computer
do everything YOU want it to do!
Computer and software tips here
http://able2laff.com/EZ/comp.html
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
 
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
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[No Holds Barred] for MAR 18 2009

${top_html_ad}
      \\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
 
       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
 
 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Profit
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007Profit.jpg
 
Safe sex
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007safesex.jpg
 
Same old stuff
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007Same-Old-Shit.jpg
 
Clam chowder
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007Shoppingx006.jpg
 
WARNING
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007signs0545.jpg
 
Crunchy snack
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=007Snacksx007.jpg
 
WHOOOPS!          
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=006WHOOOPS.jpg
 
Home 4 Sale                    
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=007-4Sale.jpg
 
Acrobatic                     
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=007Acrobatics.jpg
 
New fork                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=007ad-Fork.jpg
 
Alien holocaust         
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Holocost.JPG
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Guarana Pure
The Ultimate Superfood and Natural Weight Loss Suplement!
 
- Burn off the excess pounds
- Detoxify and purify your body
- Boost your energy levels
- Start looking and feeling great
- Best of all - Guarana Pure is 100% guaranteed,
  and absolutely risk-FREE!
 
Try it FREE* now!
http://tinyurl.com/awv69a
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
TOONS
 
Pencil Sharpner
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001350.html
 
My First Dollar
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001269.html
 
Pirates                    
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=007amovies-0179.jpg
 
Steelers Cheerleader               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=007asports-cheerleader.jpg         
 
The evidence suggests...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c117.html
 
Pickin up chicks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i003.html
 
Outmatched
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i010.html
 
You suck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h021.html
 
Accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h022.html
 
Random Joke & cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
 
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes..com/JPGS/display_pic.php
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
 
A Guide to Being Evil
http://www.darksites.com/souls/horror/evilguide/index.html
 
Smell a rat...and Love it!
http://tinyurl.com/9edsa6
 
Insane car battery hack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_8n2Qgguto
 
I'll Take Creative Solutions for $500,000, Alex
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_solutions.htm
 
Rodney Carrington - Show Them To Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJX3RPXysCw
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
GAME TIME
 
Slang Quiz II
http://tinyurl.com/dajsd9
 
Chaos of Mana
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39664&s=n
 
Five Card Deluxe
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38741&s=n
 
Around The World In 80 Days
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39071&s=n
 
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
DUCKS  IN  HEAVEN !!!
 
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
 
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here
in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
 
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over
the place.  It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and
although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one.
 
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.   St.
Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping
on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
 
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and
along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.  With him is another
extremely ugly man.  He chains them together with the same
admonishment as for the first woman.
 
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be
chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where
 she steps.
 
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but
one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man
she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular...
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
 
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?'
 
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
 
In taking the blame for the Daschle cabinet debacle Tuesday, an
embarrassed Pres. Obama admitted publicly, "I screwed up."
An out-of-breath Bill Clinton burst into the Oval Office and shouted,
"Don't let her keep the dress!" (Jerry Perisho)
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should  memorize it!
 
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!
 
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or
significant other!
 
DANGEROUS:  What's for dinner?
SAFER:  Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:  Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.
 
DANGEROUS:  Are you wearing that?
SAFER:  Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:  WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine
 
DANGEROUS:  What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:  Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:  Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.
 
DANGEROUS:  Should you be eating that?
SAFER:  You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:  Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.
 
DANGEROUS:  What did you DO all day?
SAFER:  I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:  I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
 
Kellogg's dropped Michael Phelps as a spokesman after he was
photographed using a bong. So let me get this straight, a guy was
fired for using marijuana by the maker of Pop-Tarts?
(Janice Hough)
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
7 Hour Slumber is an all-natural nutritional supplement
that will help you fall asleep faster, sleep deeper,
awake more refreshed without feeling groggy.
 
Try it here - risk-free:
http://tinyurl.com/crvjet
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years
ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with
five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just
outside Roswell, New Mexico.
 
This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered
up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and
organizations.
 
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April
1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people
were born:
 
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
 
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?
 
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for
you.  It did for me.
 
No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
The California woman who recently had octuplets—bringing her
total number of children to 14—says she plans a career as a
television child expert. Though it seems to me any child expert's
first piece of advice would be, "Don't have 14 kids."  (Todd Long)
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
SydesJokes
 
In the mood for some "Syde"-splitting laughter?
 
Then sign up for the Sydes Jokes group on Yahoo!
 
SydesJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 
You'll receive daily joke e-mails containing the
funniest jokes on the web with links to hilarious
pics, video clips, and flash movies.
 
And check out the Sydes Jokes website for even more
funny stuff: http://www.SydesJokes.com
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
 
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
 
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
 
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
 
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
 
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
 
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