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HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!!
ERIN, GO BRA-LESS!!
Happy Days to you all, and may the fine St. Patrick, Patron Saint of
Alchoholics, smile down on ye.
In celebration, my friend Bushmill and myself have been having a
long discussion....which I plan to continue thru tomorrow night.
If you are unlucky enough to be the designated driver for this St. Pat's
Day, just think of all the fine blackmail material you can get on your
friends. Take notes.
See you all later...after the pounding goes away.
Pappy Thorn O'Shunt
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TOONS
I loaded up some fun pics for St. Pat's Day on the sites.
clean
St. Patrick Day Toons
http://able2laff.com/?cat=91
adult
St. Patrick Day Toons
http://able2laugh.com/?cat=91
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
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Hundreds of Screensavers! Totally Free!
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FUN PLACES TO CHECK OUT
Irish Drinking Songs - on Whose Line
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSDW6Tjpp2U
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4297.html
Barack Obama is IRISH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EADUQWKoVek
Irish DUI test
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2spP2eveoBA
Barack The Shamrock "O' BAMA" !?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urMlVn1ZwDg
Irish Jig
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDOD3pIor-o
Indian Irish Phone Call
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3k2ZyQjUhA
Irish bank robbers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sT44mFrtr0
The Rude Leprechaun - short vids
http://tinyurl.com/32p2ql
St Pat's Day history, blessings, superstitions, and more
http://www.marvelicious.com/stpatrick.html
Does America Really Need Another Excuse for Catholics to Get
Drunk?
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0301/stpatrick.html
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GAME TIME
Catch the Leprechaun
http://tinyurl.com/7hya
IRISH TIC TAC TOE
http://tinyurl.com/7jk4
Today's jigsaw puzzle....typical Irishman
http://tinyurl.com/7jk2
A BUNCH more St. Pat's games
http://blackdog4kids.com/holiday/pat/
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
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A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
"I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together,
but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five
Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then
walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then
started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I
saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
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Q: How do you get an Irishman to climb on the roof?
A: Tell him that the drinks are on the house
Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years,
but he will kill any man who does.
Here's a toast to your enemies' enemies!
Their favorite folklore consists of finding small people, catching them,
tying them up, and then forcing them to cough up some gold. It's not
about leprechauns, it's about armed robbery! -- Shayne Dark
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One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the
16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into
the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball
and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head,
and the golf ball lying right beside him.
"Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little
guy. Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair
and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The man says, "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't
hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks, "Well, he was a
nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something
for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him
unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great love life."
Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the
same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole.
He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking
for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and
asks how he is doing.
The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf
game is?"
The golfer says, "It's great! I hit under par every time."
The leprechaun says, "I did that for you. And might I ask how your
money is holding out?"
The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put
my hand in my pocket, I pull out a ten dollar bill."
The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you. And might I
ask how your love life is?"
The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, I have a date
maybe once or twice a week."
The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Only once or twice a
week?!"
The golfer, a little embarrassed, looks at him and says, "Well, that's
not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
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I come from an Irish family. St. Patrick's Day was our big holiday.
The night before, we'd hang up our stockings. In the morning,
they'd be full of beer. -- Sean Morey
Q: What do you call an Irishman who is constantly bouncing off
the walls?
A: Rick O'Shea.
An Irish twelve-step meeting is where you find two pubs next
door to each other.
Q. Did you hear about the Irish gay couple?
A. Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
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IRISH GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE
My grandmother died in 1965, but her birthday is coming up, and
that always causes me to reminisce.
The long walks we used to take to the store on Crawford Road ,
the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds
or washing the sidewalk.
Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel
in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only
about 13.
We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40
soda bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day.
She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start
my own family. 'And always remember this thing,' she said. 'Be
sure you marry a woman with small hands.'
'How come, Grandma?' I asked her.
She answered in her soft Irish voice. "Makes your weiner look
bigger."
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We've got our own recipe for Irish stew:
Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout.
Drink all of the beer. Forget about the stew.
An Irish Toast: May the wind at your back not be the result
of the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch.
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Some Other Lists to Enjoy
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Not enough naughty chuckles in your day?
Then you need to head over here for a fine selection
of jokes, toons, videos, fun stories...and MORE!
Get them delivered daily!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/a-var1.html
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More to come later....
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