No Holds Barred! 01-23-07

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Earl and Kevin are dicussing how tight-ass cold their wives
had been to them about giving sex.

Earl says "My wife's so cold I can put a glass of water in
bed with her and the next morning its turned to ice."

"That ain't shit" says Kevin "Hell, every time my old lady
spreads her legs the furnace kicks on!"

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After twenty-five years of marriage, Brent is lying on his
deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says "Sara before I
die I have to tell you something".

She replies "Yes, yes dear anything what is it?"

He starts,"The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia
and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health."
To which the wife nods her head and he continues, "When I lost
half my family in the terrible car crash, it was you by my side
who kept me going. When our kids grew up and ran away from home,
you sat with me and comforted me! And when I lost everything
last year in the fire at the store, you were right by my side
the whole time. Sara You've been through everything with me."
Brent says, "So before I die I just want you to know you're a
freakin' jinx!"

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Tommy decides to join the Navy.

On his first day of service, he gets aquatinted with all the
facilities around the ship that he will be serving on. Tommy
asks the sailor showing him around, "What do you guys do around
here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?",
to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the
upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole."
Weeks pass, and Tommy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel.

He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong
out and starts fucking the barrel. Its simply the best feeling
he had ever experienced, it was truly a success! After he was
done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally
told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel was really great!
I could do it every day!"

To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day
except Thursday."

Confused, Tommy asks why, to which the other guy replies,
"Because its your turn in the barrel on Thursday."

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