No Holds Barred! 01-17-07

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A blind man is talking to his friend.
"I recently went skydiving," he told him proudly.
"How did *you* manage to go skydiving?"
"I just jumped out and went WHEEE!"
"Well, how did you know when to pull the parachute cord?"
"When the leash went limp ..."

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In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a
pathologist.
Here's what happened:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the
pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure
the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a
jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there
practicing law somewhere.

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One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police
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 The police officer on duty was intrigued by this and he asked, "How
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"No," replied the nervous immigrant.
 
 "Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"  "No."
 
 "Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"  "No."
 
 "Then why in God's name did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the
exasperated police officer.
 
 "Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she gonna poison me!"
He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.
 
 The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and
started to laugh out loud.  The immigrant became  indignant and said,
"What so funny?
 
 Can't you see the label on bottle said, 'Polish Remover'?"

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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