Joke Email - GW has a lot on his mind..

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Friday 16th February, 2007 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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So you'll be pleased to hear that in the Valentines Day face-off with
the missus... I well and truly 'won'! Yup, after feigning
forgetfulness (or possibly even giving the distinct whiff of antipathy
to the whole commercialism of it all) she awoke to the cliche of roses
and a card, plus a unique art print. I was obviously nowhere to be
seen, having had to get myself to work early in order to toil for it
all.

Like they always say, it's the thought that counts (kinda).

Have a top weekend, I'm off to see the UK version of X Factor live
tonight. No-names getting their last few moments of fleeting glory - I
love it!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email
webmaster@jokeemail.com

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+ General Joke
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
Boyfriend along shopping . This letter was (apparently) recently sent
by an unnamed supermarket's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you
and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by
our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna
look" Using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Store Manager

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