No Holds Barred! 01-16-07

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SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS:
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THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST

I CANNOT SEE, I CANNOT PEE,
I CANNOT CHEW, I CANNOT SCREW
MY MEMORY SHRINKS, MY HEARING STINKS,
NO SENSE OF SMELL, I LOOK LIKE HELL,
MY BODY'S DROOPING, GOT TROUBLE POOPING
SO THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST.
WELL, THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

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  Top 10 MOST BRILLIANT MARKETING BLUNDERS:

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was
read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an
American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany
only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people
there wanted a "manure stick."

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the
label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put
pictures on the label of what's inside, since so many people there
can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami
printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit.
Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the
potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a
tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused
man to make a chicken affectionate."

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la",
meaning
"Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on
the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic
equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

10. When Parker Pen marketed a
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that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad
read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

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Allen was feeling particularly horny so he went to a whore
on the street and asked, "How much do you charge?"

The whore said, "100 bucks for the evening."

Allen said "Well, if I pay you 100 bucks, you will have to do
it under my rules."

The whore said, "That's fine."

So Allen took her home and told her that they would close all
the blinds and do it in the pitch dark.

The whore turned to him and said, "Honey, its your money, so
whatever you want is fine."

They had sex, and Allen told her to wait 10 minutes before
they were to do it again. Then 10 minutes later, they did it
again. After 6 times, he seemed to be getting stronger and
stronger.

"Allen, you are the best lover I have ever had," she said.

Then the man said, "Lady, my name is Jake, Allen is outside
selling your ass to all his friends for 50 bucks a pop."

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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