Monday, 19 March 2007
Fun4U: More City Driving Rules
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Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way
to scare people entering the highway.
Using an on/off ramp to pass is perfectly acceptable when when freeway
traffic drops below 10 m.p.h.
Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and apparently
not enforceable in most metro areas.
Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move
over, doesn't mean that the driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster if he was in your spot.
Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour
traffic.
Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire.
Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps existing
litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-highway crews something
to clean up.
Everybody thinks his or her vehicle is better than yours, especially
pickup truck drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge,
or Chevy logo.
Learn to swerve abruptly. Cities are a great place to learn high-speed
slalom driving thanks to state DOT's (Dept. of Transportation), which
put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them
on their toes.
It is traditional for city drivers to honk their horns at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes.
Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left and
right and left again before proceeding, unless you have side impact
airbags and good insurance.
Heavy snows, ice, fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the
previously listed rules. These weather conditions are mother nature's
way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junk yards
and new vehicle sales. After all, we do have our priorities.
Remember that the goal of every city driver is to get there first, by
whatever means necessary.
Real female city drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at
seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Pedestrians caught in the cross-walk when the light changes are fair
game. Besides, if you don't make eye contact with them, they aren't
really there.
It is perfectly alright to come to complete stop in the middle of a city
street to check an address, especially during rush-hour.
Being elderly and legally blind is no reason to stop driving.
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