No Holds Barred! 06-21-07

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Hey Honey
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Be Patient
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Next Year...
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How Is Sex Like Riding A Bicycle?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar
territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you
have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of
experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are
really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually


best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first
time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin'Bikes.

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Jon came home in great excitement and said to his wife,
"Judi, love, you'll never believe it, dear, but I've
discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking."

"Really," she said, interested at once. "What is it?"

"Back to back," Jon replies

"But that's crazy. We can't do anything back to back."

"Yes, we can," he says. "I've persuaded another couple to
help out!"

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This old man in his eighty's got up and was putting on his
coat. 

His wife said "Where are you going?"

He said "I'm going to the doctor."

And she said "Why, are you sick?"

"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new
Viagra pills."

So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on
her sweater
and he said "Where are you going?"

She said "I'm going to the doctor, too."

He said, "Why?"

She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old
thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot!"

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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