No Holds Barred! 05-24-07

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 Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
  No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


Still got a big ass!
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Where's the rest of him??
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Single woman turns 30!
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Why men shouldn't remain single!
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Cloned!!!
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Happy Birthday Dear
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For Mechanics
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Please Disguise
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The Real Reason
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Not An Even Suntan...
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Extras...
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How to speak about Women and be politically correct:

  1. She is not dumb -
     She is a detour off the information superhighway.

  2. She has not "been around" -
     She is a previously enjoyed companion.

  3. She is not an airhead -
     She is reality impaired.

  4. She does not get drunk or tipsy -
     She gets chemically inconvienced.

  5. She is not "hot to trot" -
     She is sexually focused.

  6. She does not have implants -
     She is medically enhanced.

  7. She does not nag you -
     She is merely verbally repetitive.

  8. She is not "easy" -
     She is sexually extroverted.

  9. She does not have major league hooters -
     She is pectorally superior.

10. She is not a two-bit whore -
     She is a low cost provider.

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There once was a man with a permanent erection.  Try as he
could, he couldn't get it to go down.  Finally, he went to his
local pharmacy, where he encountered a female pharmacist.

"I'd like to speak to the male pharmacist," he said.

She said, "I'm a professional.  I run this pharmacy with my
sister, who is also a professional.  Anything you can tell a
man, you can tell us."

"O.K.," he said.  "I have a permanent erection.  What can you
give me for it?"

"Hmmm," she replied, "I'll go into the back and confer with
my sister." After a minute, she returned to the counter and
said, "We'll give you $25,000 and half the business."

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How to speak about Men and be politically correct:

  1. He does not have a beer gut -
     He has developed a liquid grain storage facility.

  2. He is not a bad dancer -
     He is overly Caucasian.

  3. He does not "get lost all the time" -
     He investigates alternative destinations.

  4. He is not balding -
     He is in follicle regression.

  5. He is not a "cradle robber" -
     He simply prefers generationally differential relationships.

  6. He does not get falling-down drunk -
     He becomes accidentally horizontal.

  7. He does not act like a perfect, total ass -
     He develops a case of rectal-cranial inversion (besides, no
     one is perfect ... least of all him!).

  8. He is not a male chauvinist pig -
     He has swine empathy.

  9. He is not afraid of commitment -
     He is monogamously challenged.

10. He is not vulgar -
     He is etiquette deprived.

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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