Fun4U: Mother's dictionary

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Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
 
 Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to
    let the children play outside.
 
 Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
 
 Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
 
 Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
    apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
 
 Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the
    strained carrots.
 
 Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
 
 Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though
    they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
 
 Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
 
 Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
 
 Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything
    we say.
 
 Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you
    scream it.
 
 Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
 
 Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
 
 Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
    shoes into it.
 
 Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
 
 Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and
    to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
 
 Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that
    children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
 
 Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset
    the children.
 
 Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
 
 Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to
    make those familiar grunting noises.
 
 Verbal: Able to whine in words
 
 Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
 
 Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
 
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