No Holds Barred! 04-20-07

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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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Extras...
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A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next
morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast,
and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely
flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she
slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive
nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly
started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed
back and once more brought her back upright. This went on
all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old
woman was adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me
fart."

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Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

M: "Is this seat empty?"
W: "Yeah, and this one will be too if you sit down."

M: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
W: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

M: "Your place or mine?"
W: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

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M: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
W: "It's in the phone book."
M: "But I don't know your name."
W: "That's in the phone book too."

M: "So, what do you do for a living?"
W: "I'm a female impersonator."

M: "What sign were you born under?"
W: "No Parking."

M: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
W: "STOP"

M: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
W: "Unfertilized."

M: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same
reason."
W: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

M: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
W: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

M: "I know how to please a woman."
W: "Then please leave me alone."

M: "I want to give myself to you."
W: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

M: "I can tell that you want me."
W: "Oooohh. You are sooo right. I want you to leave."

M: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
W: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

M: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
W: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

M: "Your body is like a temple."
W: "Sorry, there are no services today."

M: "I'd go through anything for you."
W: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

M: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
W: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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