No Holds Barred! 04-13-07

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Green Eggs Or What ?

The National Education Association is celebrating
"Read Across America" by encouraging adults to read
children. Of course, Green Eggs and Ham is one of the
most popular Dr. Seuss books. And there's the dilemma.
How can Jewish kids celebrate with green Eggs and HAM?
So, in honor of (and with apologies to the estate of
Dr. Seuss) here's a new ending for the story.

Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER,
So let me be!

I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am.
But I'll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.

I'll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up in matzoh brie!

And in a boat upon the river,
I'll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you're a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,

Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!

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A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw
up."

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A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change,
and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me
the wrong change!"

Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make
corrections
after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now.
That's the policy of this bank !"

Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know you gave me
twenty dollars too much. Bye. "
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