Tuesday, 27 January 2009

[No Holds Barred] for JAN 26 2009

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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!

 PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!

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Toons

Prickly chick       
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002Prickley-chick.jpg

Bad date             
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002sad_date.jpg

SHOOO!                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002SHOOO.jpg

Cow Candy           
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Dessertx011.jpg

Milked               
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004DrinkUpx004.jpg

Studly              
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004EatMoreVeggiesx004.jpg

Strange menu item                      
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002sign002.jpg

Spanking                    
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002Spanking.jpg

Dumps it                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002sports0002.jpg

Taxi                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=002taxi_2.jpg

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Avoid Foreclosure.
We buy homes FAST!
We want to make you an offer ASAP.
Sell your house ASAP.
We ready to buy property in your area! 
Get an offer from a DIRECT buyer.
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Toons

Fish and Chips       
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004FishNChips.jpg

Apple Dispenser  (lewd alert)               
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Fruitx004.jpg

Party mate                
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Fun_weekend.jpg

Helpful              
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Helpful.jpg

The Gynecologist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c030.html

Devious cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c032.html

Spectators
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c033.html

politicians
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c034.html

what can you do with 20 minutes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c035.html

signals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c036.html

tailgating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c037.html

Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com

Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php

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Extras...

The Ultimate Cable Channels
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_meow_tv.htm

Pay To Have Sex With You - Pat McCurdy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3_ZWFeFkKM

Twats or raw meat?  [GAME]
http://qssgames.com/play?g=243
Ironic Times...all three pages of headlines
http://ironictimes.com/index.html

Random Recipe generator
[just keep reloading the page for more hilarious recipes]
http://jamesoff.net/site/fun/random-recipe-generator/

Top Ten Violent Death Scenes
http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2005/10/top_ten_violent.html

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/

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A woman's husband was slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, he finally came to and motioned for her to come nearer. As
she sat by him, he whispered, "I've had a revelation. You have been
with me all through the bad times, and God knows there've been
plenty!  When I was fired, you were there to support me. When my next
business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed with me. When my health started
failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill
with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck... get the hell away from me!!"

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It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive,
and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Julie.

When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for
Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the
health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to
show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same
time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she
almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she
starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her
time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally
have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not
reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done
before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush
so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact
is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished
mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell
her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while.  And, as long as she is making
one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody
knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other...

Signed, Ron

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on October 3rd. He was found with a
Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his ass,
with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Julie was arrested, but
the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defence that he accidentally
sat down on it very suddenly.

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Q. Why do American 18-year-olds take sex education courses?
A. So they can learn what they've been doing wrong for the past five
years.

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in
six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Economic crisis.  Change is coming.
Unfortunately the laws granting free money
to help Americans could be lost!

These grants are in place specifically
for people who need assistance paying for bills,
buying a home, starting their own business,
going to school, or even helping raise their children.

Get a check in as little as 12 DAYS!
http://tinyurl.com/9vj382

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She looked so fair, in the midnight air,
With the wind blowing up her nightie...
Her tits hung loose,
like the balls of a moose,
Jesus Christ Almighty...
 
The nipples on her tits were as big as my thumb,
The wiggle of her ass could make a dead man come?
She sucks like a vacuum,
and she's real f*cking dumb,
She's the girl for me.
 
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Q. Why did God give blondes 2% more intelligence than horses?
A. He didn't want them sh!tting in the street during parades, too.

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
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