[No Holds Barred] for Jan 12 2009

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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!

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Toons

Burnout     
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001Burnout.jpg

Cookie sales            
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001cookie-sales.jpg

Open Holidays             
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002signs0002.jpg

REAL phone sex  (naughty alert)                  
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002phonesex3.jpg

Dessert time               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001Dessert017.jpg

Dog exercise                 
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001dog-exercise.jpg

UFO AHEAD               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001dsign101.jpg

Queer Aid (Engrish blooper)                
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002Snacksx002.jpg

Shirt advertising                    
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002tshirt-001.jpg

Food sculpture          
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001food-sculptures002.jpg

Welcome to A O HELL           
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002Welcome_2_Hell.jpg

We need a room for this?         
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001grammar-crisis-room.jpg

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Toons

Unknown models             
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=002Unknown-Models.jpg

Good Advice        
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001History-advice.jpg

Still life                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=001EatMoreVeggies007.jpg

Little Likker  (naughty alert)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=003A_little_likker.jpg

On the Brain        
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=003Brain2.gif

Sunglow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a056.html
 
Sorry sir
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a057.html
 
A lot cheaper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a058.html

Extra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a059.html
 
Don't forget....
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a061.html

Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com

Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php

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Extras...

Sex And The Single Panda
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_pandasex.htm

Thank God I'm a Country Boy!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2879.html

Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
(bookmark this page....all puzzles change daily)
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383

Bill Engvall - Deer Hunting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUgW6OiagGs

Nervous Fat kid
http://www.banthis.com/videos/789/Nervous-Fat-Kid.html

Hypnotically weird.  I watched for at least 10 minutes!
(you can move her with the mouse if she gets stuck)
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/tetka.html

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A salesman on business in Vegas is in a bar.  He is talking to a
pretty woman for about a half hour when he realizes she is a
hooker.  

"I'll give you $200 for a mediocre blow job," he says.  

"Honey," she replies, "for $200 I'll give you the blow job of a
lifetime!"  

"You don't understand," he says, "I'm not horny, just home-sick."
 
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Why Some Men Have Dogs and not Wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
   across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a
   day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you
   get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give
    them way.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling
    you a  pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad.  They
    just think  it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

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    There once was a man named Screwy Dick,
    A man who was born with a spiral pr1ck.
    His life was spent in one long hunt
    to find the girl with the spiral c#nt.
    When he found her he dropped dead,
    'cause that damn bitch had left hand thread!!!

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World's First Digital Drug

You'll love the RUSH with a "digital drug"
Simply slip on the headphones and relax
For effects lasting hours afterward
http://tinyurl.com/5mpoqg

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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutional istically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell?  No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
   coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom?  I refuse to pee in this parking
   lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

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Don't let it end like this.  Tell them I said something.
-- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

SALEM, OREGON -- Officials in Marion County are considering a
proposal to recycle bread, dairy products and meat. As though school
lunches weren't bad enough already.   -- Bob Mills

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - Nicole Kidman claims that swimming in Australian
Outback "fertility waters" somehow contributed to her unexpected
pregnancy.  And all during her marriage to Tom Cruise, we thought
TOM was the screwball.  -- Bob Mills

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