No Holds Barred! 02-14-08

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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


Neighbors fued
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Makes me look fat
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Junior learns....
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How'd she find us?
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Knowing The Best Plan
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Aha!
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It's All In The Name
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Test Your Prowess
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Hell Yeah
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I Wrote This One...
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Extras...
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He sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation,
turned to bartender and said, "Hey, about those Democrats
in the Congress . . "

"Stop -- I *don't* permit talk about politics in my bar!"
interrupted the bartender.

A few minutes later the gent tried again, "People say about
the Pope ... "

"No religion talk, either," the bartender cut in.

One more try to break the boredom..." I thought the Yankees
would..."

"No sports talk...That's how fights start in bars." the
barman said.

"Look, how about sex. Can I talk to you about sex?"

"Sure."

"Good. Go f*ck yourself."

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Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman:

A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting
a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT". When you're
done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep
without feeling guilty.
A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
A modem doesn't bitch if you sit and play with the computer
all night long.
You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a
faster model comes out.
A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
A modem doesn't require any foreplay - just an
initialization command.
A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to
the doctor.
You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents.
If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only
options you have to worry about.
Modems come with an instruction manual.
Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.

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Will you watch American Idol™ this season?
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A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's
chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The
barber began to lather his face while a woman with the
biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever
seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy
said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time
in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like
that."

The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll
pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

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Fans, who will be the winner on American Idol™?
Vote now by clicking below, then follow the instructions
on the website to get a Plasma TV.

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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