No Holds Barred! 02-13-08

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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


Detour
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/786.html
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Deep...
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Fish Farting
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Sing?
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Just Becasue The Store...
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Early lessons
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Wisdom
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Black or white!
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Trip to seaworld gone awry
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Blood?
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Extras...
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http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny657.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny658.html
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Con-Tricks - New definitions for words prefixed with "con"...

con'script - a false signature
con'tour - a dishonest travel agent
con'tract - the after-effects of Viagra upon a male member
con'quer - to abuse a homosexual
con'scribe - a plagiarist
con'dole - to fiddle the social security system
con'fusion - artificial insemination
con'note - counterfeit currency
con'joint - fake marijuana
con'natural - the government or IRS
con'firmation - plastic surgery
con'cierge - a French vibrator (a "cierge" is a candle)
con'genenical - a transsexual
con'vent - to silently pass wind
con'firm - Messrs Bumpimoff, Dumppim & Leggit, Solicitors
con'jury - to pervert the course of justice
. . . Written by Helen O'Brien.

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A salesman rang the doorbell, and little Johnny answered.
The salesman asked if his father was home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman said, "Well, can I see him please?"

Johnny snickered and said, "No, he is in the shower."

The salesman asked if his mother was home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman asked, "Well, can I see her?"

Johnny snickered again and said, "No, she's in the shower
too."

The salesman then asked, "Do you think they will be out
soon?"

Johnny laughed this time and said, "No."

The salesman asked, "Why?"

"Well," Johnny said, "when my dad asked me for the Vaseline,
I gave him some Super Glue."

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Which contestant will be the next American Idol™?
Answer the survey question by clicking below for your
chance to get a Plasma TV. Not bad, huh?

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<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Idol.html">Here</a>

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A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a
five-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they
decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy,
explains to them how it works.

"We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you
find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's
easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you
what's inside."

They start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads,
"All the men here have it short and thin." The friends
laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here have
it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough, so the
friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor, where the sign reads, "All the
men here have it short and thick." They still want to do
better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left,
they continued up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men
here have it long and thick." The women get all excited
and are going in when they realize that there is still one
floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on
up to the fifth floor.

On the fifth floor, they find a sign that reads, "There
are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that
there is no way to please a woman."

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Will you watch American Idol™ this season?
Give your opinion now for a chance to get a Plasma TV.
Get started below.

http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Idol.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Idol.html">Here</a>


More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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