No Holds Barred! 12-07-07

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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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Bill and Doug were getting ready for the company awards dinner
for the best salesman.  Bill was in the running to win an award
that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he
claimed his prize.  He felt his luck was with him and was sure
to win.  He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the
mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and
it came crashing down on the floor.

"Oh no," said Bill.  "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Doug.  My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't
have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Bill, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Doug.  "He died that day."

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If God were a woman.

1. Sex would smell like chocolate

2. Farts would smell like roses

3. Dogs would smell spring fresh

4. Babies would come from vending machines

5. Men would be born with a permanent erection

6. All women would have the same size breasts

7. There would be no cellulite

8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE

9. Men would be born with an "OFF" switch

10. There would be no "Tittie Bars"....Male Revue
would continue

11. Every man's paycheck would be made payable
to his wife

12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a
5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!

13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle

14. Men would come with software to be custom designed

15. Men would come equipped with homing device
for quick location by wife

16. Men would have a built in lie detector on
forehead for instant verification of truth

17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the
difference between six inches and three inches

18. Sex would last longer than 30 seconds

19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny
and a kiss on the cheek

20. Viagra becomes an over the counter drug


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Two college women were discussing the date one had had
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"Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and sophisticated.
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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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