Fun4U: Penis Raise

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I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
 
 * I do physical labor
 * I work at great depths
 * I am always using my head first
 * I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
 * I work in a damp environment
 * I don‚'t get paid overtime or shift penalties
 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
 * I work in high temperatures
 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
 
 Response from Human Resources
 
 After accessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
    the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
 
 * You do not work 8 hours straight
 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
 * You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas
 * You take a lot of breaks
 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
    in order to start working
 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
 * You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct
    protective outfits
 * You don't like working double shifts
 * You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed
    your work
 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
    leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!
 
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