Tuesday, 1 April 2008

No Holds Barred! 04-01-08



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Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////

Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at her, and all his professionalism
went out the window.

He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed,
the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or
dermatological abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm
doing now?"

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or
breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
intercourse with her.

He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes, which is why I
came here in the first place."


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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her
daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become
pregnant, and adversely impact the family's status, she
consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very
willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would
probably result in rebellion. He then told her to
arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control
and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of
condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a
date, the woman told her about the situation and handed
her a box of condoms.

The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her
mother saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about
that!, , , I'm dating Susan!"

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For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here is a touch of
reality.
* When you are sad...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad.

* When you are blue...I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.

* When you smile...I'll know you finally got laid.

* When you are scared...I will rag you about it every chance I get.

* When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.

* When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.

* When you are sick...Stay away from me until you're well again, I
don't want whatever you have.

* When you fall...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge till the end. Why may you ask?
Because you're my friend.

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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For MORE Great Entertainment Visit:
http://www.AikensLaughs.com

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