No Holds Barred! 01-11-08

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It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided
to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time
they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the
gorilla looking at his wife.

"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits,"
he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see
what he does?"

At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband,
she took off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He
started grunting and jumping up and down.

"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take
off all your clothes and we'll see what he does."

Again she said no and again he persuaded her. This time the
ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars,
did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all
over the cage.

The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and
pushed his wife in.

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A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse and noticed
the strange behavior of the couple inside. The woman was
running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man had one
hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with
the other.

The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on. After
he'd finished his pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned
what he'd just seen. "Oh, those folks ain't crazy," the
farmer said, "They're both deaf mutes. She was telling him
to mow the lawn, and he was telling her to go screw herself
because he was going fishing."

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This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to
get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the
phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour."

"Perfect," she replies.

The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him
to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and
waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but
no wife?

She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is
terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."

The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What
should I do?" he asks.

The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do
you have a housekeeper around?"

"Yes" the man replied.

"Well, may be you can occupy yourself with her instead?"
said the Doctor.

The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra
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      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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