No Holds Barred! 01-04-08

===========================================================

 Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
  No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


      \\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////

       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


Summer Wear
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1301.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1301.html">Here!</a>

I think he's getting a tickect
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1302.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1302.html">Here!</a>

Pothead?
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1303.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1303.html">Here!</a>

Complete Entertainment Center!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1304.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1304.html">Here!</a>

Home Alone
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1305.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1305.html">Here!</a>

Computer Dating Agency
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/037.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/037.htm"> Here </a>

Buy a vowel
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1306.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1306.html">Here!</a>

Petting zoo
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1307.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1307.html">Here!</a>

Miami Vice
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1308.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1308.html">Here!</a>

He's got my eyes....
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1309.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1309.html">Here!</a>

Surprise!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1310.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1310.html">Here!</a>

Extras...
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny917.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny918.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny919.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are in DEEP TROUBLE when...

The stewardess on your American Airlines flight tells you
NOT to fasten your seatbelt.

Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.

You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your late car payment.

The little league puts you on waivers.

Your suggestion box starts ticking.

Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DEA is on line 2,
and CBS is on line 3.

You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing
a life jacket.

They pay your wages out of petty cash.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are in DEEP TROUBLE when...

You make more than you ever made, owe more than you
ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of
the vacation budget.

The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid
to tell your wife.

You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.

Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

The pest exterminator crawls under your house
and never comes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you think Hillary will win the 2008 presidential election?
Answer now for your chance to get a $500 Visa™ Gift Card—
and make sure your voice is heard!

http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Hillary.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Hillary.html">Here</a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

---  Businesses That Failed  ---

GERIATRIC CITY
Quality housing for older citizens that couldn't attract
retirees, despite the mirrored bedroom ceilings, the
hot tubs, the adjacent burial plots and other amenities.

PUMP AND HUMP
A Nevada brothel that offered self-service gasoline to
its customers.

STICKY WICKETS
Pre-owned erotica for sale at attractive discount prices.

HAIR AND NOW
Fast, inexpensive hair replacement using cat fur and
thumb tacks.

PARADISE LOST AND FOUND
A gynecological clinic franchise specializing in "25,000
mile tune-ups".

UNIX FOR HIRE
A computer consulting firm that just couldn't build a
long-term customer base.

SCRATCH AND SNIFF
A new medication for hemorrhoids...available in all
your favorite fragrances.

THIS LITTLE PIGGY
A Kosher meat market in Brooklyn.

T.G.I.T.A.
( Thank God It's Tuesday Afternoon) A sour dough
garlic coated family size pizza specialty on Tuesday
afternoons.

BARBIE BUST ENHANCEMENT FRANCHISE
The first two locations went bust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you lost your camera... how would someone know it's yours and
return it?"

ImHONEST.com offers a practical solution for owners of valuables
items and the people who find lost items. Our personalized
ID labels make it convenient and rewarding for people to return
your lost valuables to you. The labels are stylish, durable, and
use a coded ID system that protects both the owner's and
finder's identities.

http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Honest.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/Honest.html">Here</a>


More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

===========================================================


For MORE Great Entertainment Visit:
http://www.AikensLaughs.com

--^----------------------------------------------------------------
This email was sent to: jokesareus@optushome.com.au

EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?bUrBZ5.b8uXJ7.am9rZXNh
Or send an email to: NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@topica.com

For Topica's complete suite of email marketing solutions visit:
http://www.topica.com/?p=TEXFOOTER
--^----------------------------------------------------------------