No Holds Barred! 09-24-07

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 Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
  No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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An older man was married to a younger woman. After
several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart
attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his
life they should cut out sex.

He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that
he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save
them both from temptation.

One night, after several weeks, he decided that life
without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed
upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said,
"I was coming up to die."

She laughed and replied, "I was coming down to kill you!"

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Marketing 101

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct
Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's
Advertising.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her
bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then
say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public
Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

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A well-endowed woman entered a chic Madison Avenue
boutique and tried on every evening gown in the store.
Finally setting eyes on a very sexy, low-cut dress
hanging in the display window, she asked the exhausted
sales clerk if she could try it on.

"Of course, madam," he muttered through clenched
teeth, squeezed into the window, and began the
painstaking task of taking the dummy apart to
remove the gown. Eventually he succeeded and was able
to hand it over to the demanding customer.

"How do I look?" she asked, emerging from the dressing
room. "Does it show off my superb breasts to
advantage?"

"Oh, absolutely," the clerk assured her, "but do hairy
chests run in your family?"

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!


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