No Holds Barred! 03-26-08

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Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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A man walks in to a pub and there is a big jar of money on
the counter, the man asks the bartender.

" whats that jar full of money for?"

The bartender replies" the money goes to the person who can
make my donkey laugh."

The man asks the bartender if he can try.

He goes into the donkey...5 mins later he comes out and the
donkey is pissing itself laughting.

The man gets the money and leaves.

2 weeks later he comes back to the same pub. The bartender
asks the man if he can stop the donkey from laughing the
guy tells him he'll try.

He goes in to the donkey.. 5 mins later he comes back out
with the donkey crying.

The bartender asks the man how he did it.

The man replies "well I made him laugh by telling him I had
a bigger dick than him...and I made him cry by proving it."

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A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor
notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed
attempts to correct her, he finally says "OK,, just grip it
like you do your husband's member".

After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin
winners down the line. The instructor says, "Wow that's
great. Now just try taking the racquet out of your mouth."

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A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming
sound coming from her daughter's bedroom.

When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the
bed with a vibrator.

'What are you doing?' she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, 'I'm 35 and still living at home with
my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a
husband.'

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a
humming sound coming from the basement. When he went
downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with
her vibrator.

'What are you doing?' he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, 'I'm 35 and still living at home with
my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a
husband.'

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound
again, this time in the living room. Upon entering the room,
she found her husband watching television with the vibrator
buzzing away beside him.

She asked, 'What are you doing?'

He replied, 'Watching the game with my son-in-law.'

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Read It
Read your voicemail on your phone as a text message or
in email.

Hear It
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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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