No Holds Barred! 03-25-08

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Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!


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There was a middle aged couple who had two stunningly
beautiful blonde teenaged daughters. They decided to try one
last time for the son they always wanted.

After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure
enough, nine months later, delivered a healthy baby boy. The
joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He
took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he
had ever seen.

He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he
could be the father of that child. "Look at the two
beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern
look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."

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A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was
unsure of what costume to wear. His wife told him to hurry,
or they would be late for the party. She was walking
downstairs from the bedroom, completely naked, except on her
feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

"Where is your costume?" the husband asked.

"This is it," replied his wife.

"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the husband.

"Why, I am going as Puss and Boots," explained the wife.
"Now hurry and get your costume on."

The husband went upstairs and returned in two minutes. He
also was completely naked except that he had a rose vase
over his penis.

"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the wife.

"I am a fire alarm," he replied.

"A fire alarm?" she repeated, laughing.

"Yes," he replied. "In case of fire, break the glass.
Pull twice and I come."

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FIVE KINDS.....

The first is Smurf Sex.
This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it
until you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex.
This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex
anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex.
You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta
do it in the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex.
This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say,
"Fuck you!"

There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you get divorced and your wife fucks you in
front of everyone in court.

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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