No Holds Barred! 03-06-08

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Redneck Sexual IQ Test ~

A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False

Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False

Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack. True or
False

A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False

A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False

Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False

Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False

Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False

Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False

Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke. True or False

An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True or False

A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False

An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
True or False

A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False

An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False

A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True or False

Pornography is the business of making records. True or False

Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False

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Dames Dictionary...

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're
right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled
over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat
and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can
understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to
go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

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continued...
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour
writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if
he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus ... breathe...
push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty
of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere
and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set
and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

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