No Holds Barred! 08-10-07

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  No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.


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       Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!



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Finding Nemo becomes a little harder
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A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms
around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I
think we're going to have a baby!  The doctor gave me a test today,
but we until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell,
because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs.
Smith?  You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric
company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a
bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next
morning. "What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a
month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have
to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

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"Good morning, ma'am, I've come to ask for collections, for the
Salvation Army," said the man in the bright red Santa suit to the
woman who opened the door wearing nothing but panties and a
see-through negligee.

"How do I know that?" the young woman replied. "How do I know you're
really with the Salvation Army?  How do I know you aren't some sex
fiend who has come to take advantage of a poor, defenseless female
who's all alone in her house ... and will be until 5:30pm this
evening?"

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Jill: How long has it been since you had sex, Mary?

Mary: Well, THAT'S an awfully personal question!

Jill: That long, huh?

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
      is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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