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Tuesday 7th April, 2009 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Hey all.
Been away a few days so many apologies for lack of jokes and my banter.
I'll keep it short and sharp - due round the missus's shortly for my
tea and I can't be late (again!). On the plus side, my forays to Tango
dancing class on a Tuesday night with her (couple time she calls it)
are now finished and it's only two days to the weekend!!
Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email
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+ General Joke
The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of
England. It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is
very excited. No expense has been spared - the vast dining rooms,
casinos, hundreds of neatly groomed waiters and polite service staff,
string quartets, the works.
Every night at the bar, they had this magician come on and perform the
most wonderfully amazing tricks of conjury the world had ever seen. It's
the first night of the voyage, and everyone is eager to see this great
man at work, except there was one slight problem. There was this parrot,
who'd sit on the bar top by the peanuts, and ruin each trick as the
magician performed them. Each time, the parrot would sit quietly until
the trick was almost completed, and say things like, "Squark! It's up
his sleeve!" or "Sqeeek! He's hidden it in the hat!" etc., and ruin the
trick for the magician.
Every time, the parrot would do this, and the magician would get madder
and madder as the night wore on.
The same happened on the next night, and the one after that. The
magician would shake with fury at this silly parrot ruining his world
famous show. He spent his days devising even better and more
stupendously amazing tricks in an effort to fool this bloody parrot.
One night, the magician is about to perform his greatest trick of the
voyage. The lights are dimmed, a hushed silence sweeps across the bar
floor, a drum roll builds up to a mighty crescendo as the magician
performs his final piece de resistance....and suddenly the ship hits an
iceberg and sinks...
For three days, the magician manages to cling to a door floating around
in the wreckage, starving, thirsty. On the third day, he notices at the
other end of the door, the parrot, sitting calmly and quietly, staring
back at him. For three more days the magician just glowers at him, not
saying a word - bitter, hushed, resentful, silence.
...Until one day, the parrot can't contain himself any longer and squarks,
"Alright! I give up! What have you done with the ship?!"
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© Copyright 2008 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.
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