Fun4U: Not In The Book

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A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
 
 St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is
    written in it.
 
 After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow,
    and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."
 
 "How current is your copy?" he asks.
 
 "I get a download every ten minutes." St. Peter replies, "Why do you ask?"
 
 "I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was
    not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name
    probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
 
 "I'm glad to hear that, "Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the
    update to come through, can you tell me about a really good deed that
    you did in your life?"
 
 The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Hmmm, well there was this one time
    when I was driving down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members
    harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they
    were, about 20 of them harassing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got
    out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the
    leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a
    studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears.
    As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me
    and told me to get lost or I'd be next."
 
 "So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the
    head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of
    them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK,
    deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"
 
 St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
 
 "About three minutes ago."
 
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