No Holds Barred! 05-22-08

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The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists,
--a Yale graduate and a redneck from Alabama. They were given a
word, then allowed two minutes to come up with a poem that contained
the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the
microphone and said,

"Slowly across the desert sands
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu."

The crowd went crazy. No way could the Alabama redneck top that,
they thought. The Alabama high school dropout calmly made his way
to the microphone and recited:

"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, and we was two.
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu".

The Alabama redneck won hands down.

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Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making
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Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece
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A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was
payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire
weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he
was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two
hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the
nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me
for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday
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But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner of his eye.

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More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!

Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!

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