JE - Why Post It Notes are Ace

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Monday 17th September, 2007 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Monday rolls into view. I hate Mondays.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Why Post-Its Notes are Great
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Britney's Flabby Comeback Video

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Hillary Clinton Dancing For President
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+ Blonde Joke
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a
pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant
to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and
catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching
herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young
woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he
sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it
on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead
creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the
alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, - "Damn it, this one
isn't wearing any shoes either!!!"

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© Copyright 2007 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.

No Holds Barred! 09-17-07

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Fun4U: Mac's Floppy Drive

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A user came up and wanted to know why their 3.5 inch disk wouldn't go into
    the Mac's floppy drive. I check out the disk, noted that it was okay,
    and then walked over to the offending machine, suspecting a hardware
    problem with the disk mechanism.
 
 As I moved to insert the disk into the drive to test things out, the user
    interrupted me: "No! Not that drive. this one."
 
 "This" drive, of course, turned out to be a CD-ROM.
 
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Fun4U: Retirement Day

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After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the
    same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at
    the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who
    roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a
    tidy gift envelope.
 
 At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
 
 The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing
    lures.
 
 At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
    woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led
    him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew
    his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
 
 When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant
    breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
    fresh-squeezed orange juice.
 
 When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As
    she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
    cup's bottom edge.
 
 "All of this was just too wonderful for words." He said. "But what's the
    dollar for?"
 
 "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your
    last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked
    him what to give you, and he said, Screw him. Give him a dollar." "The
    breakfast was my idea!"
 
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JE - Dyslexia Strikes

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Friday 14th September, 2007 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Well, it appears on the laziest day of the working week (that's what
Friday is afterall), the big american credit crunch finally hits the UK
financial sector, and thus yours truly. Cheers guys.

32% stockmarket crash of out local little mortgage bank, let's just say
I'm glad my money is safely tucked up under my bed. (Well, maybe not, I
have no money!)

For all of us still with our mortgage in place, enjoy the weekend!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Dyslexia Strikes!
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Dog With Two Noses
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Knock Knock Joke Goes Bad
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+ Topical Joke
Apparently true. In which case I'm never eating there!

(AP Wire story) Stomping on garlic with your shoes on is apparently
not the correct way to prepare takeout food. The Rockland County
health department hit the Great China Buffet restaurant with two
violations after a patron took pictures of an employee who was wearing
boots while stomping on a huge bowl of garlic in the alley outside.
... "I go back there, and the guy's stepping on garlic," said [the
FORMER patron] "There he was just jumping up and down on it, smashing
it up, having a good time."

The health department does not consider a person's shoe or boot a
proper instrument to use in food preparation, senior public health
sanitarian John Stoughton said Tuesday.

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© Copyright 2007 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved.

No Holds Barred! 09-13-07

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Fun4U: Battle of the Sex #5

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Q: What do electric train sets and woman's breasts have in common?
 
 
 A: Both were intended for children, but it's the father who plays with them.
 
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