-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
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-=[ un/subscribe requests @ http://www.hehe.at/funworld/fun4you.html ]=-
-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
Little Johnny was in the shower with his mother one day when, after
looking down, He asked "what's that?", pointing to her pubic area.
"That's my sponge", says his mother. "oh, OK", said Johnny. A few weeks
went by and Johnny's mother had to go to the Hospital for an operation.
When she came out she had her pubic hair shaved.
Johnny, upon seeing this. asked his mother, "where's your sponge?" His
mother replied, "That's OK, I lost it. It will turn up somewhere." A
little while later, Johnny comes bursting into the room and says to
his mother, "Mom I've found your sponge." "Where"? asks his mother,
wondering where Johnny could have found it. "It's upstairs. The maid
is using it to wash daddy's face."
-=[-(r 653)--------------------------------------------------(lp:74.1%)--]=-
-=[ latest jokes online at http://funworld.hehe.at/archive/?id=latest ]=-
-=[ NEW! Go to http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/653 ]=-
-=[ to rate this joke from 1 to 5. ]=-
-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
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Thursday, 12 February 2009
Fun4U: Blonde Medicine
-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
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-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
Glossary Of Blonde Medicine
- A -
Artery: Study Of Paintings
- B -
Bacteria: Back Door To A Cafeteria
Barium: What Doctors Do When Treatment Fails
Benign: What You Be After You Be Eight
Bowel: A Letter Like A, E, I, O Or U
- C -
Caesarean Section: A District In Rome
Cat Scan: Searching For Kitty
Cauterize: Made Eye Contact With Her
Colic: A Sheep Dog
Coma: A Punctuation Mark
Congenital: Friendly
- D -
Dnc: Where Washington Is
Dilate: To Live Long
- E -
Enema: Not A Friend
- F -
Fester: Quicker
- G -
Genital: Non-jewish
G.i. Series: Soldier Ball Game
Grippe: Suitcase
- H -
Hangnail: Coat Hook
High Colonic: Jewish Religious Holiday
- I -
Impotent: Distinguished, Well Known
- L -
Labor Pain: Getting Hurt At Work
- M -
Medical Staff: Doctor's Cane
Morbid: Higher Offer
- N -
Nitrate: Cheaper Than A Day Rate
Node: Was Aware Of
- O -
Outpatient: Person Who Has Fainted
- P -
Pap Smear: Fatherhood Test
Pelvis: Cousin Of Elvis
Post Operative: Letter Carrier
Prostate: Flat On Your Back
- R -
Recovery Room: Place To Do Upholstery
Rectum: Dang Near Killed Him
Rheumatic: Amorous
- S -
Secretion: Hiding Something
Seizure: Roman Emperor
- T -
Tablet: A Small Table
Terminal Illness: Getting Sick At The Airport
Tibia: Country In North Africa
Tumor: More Than One
- U -
Urine: Opposite Of You're Out
- V -
Varicose: Near By
-=[-(r 177)--------------------------------------------------(lp:74.1%)--]=-
-=[ latest jokes online at http://funworld.hehe.at/archive/?id=latest ]=-
-=[ NEW! Go to http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/177 ]=-
-=[ to rate this joke from 1 to 5. ]=-
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Glossary Of Blonde Medicine
- A -
Artery: Study Of Paintings
- B -
Bacteria: Back Door To A Cafeteria
Barium: What Doctors Do When Treatment Fails
Benign: What You Be After You Be Eight
Bowel: A Letter Like A, E, I, O Or U
- C -
Caesarean Section: A District In Rome
Cat Scan: Searching For Kitty
Cauterize: Made Eye Contact With Her
Colic: A Sheep Dog
Coma: A Punctuation Mark
Congenital: Friendly
- D -
Dnc: Where Washington Is
Dilate: To Live Long
- E -
Enema: Not A Friend
- F -
Fester: Quicker
- G -
Genital: Non-jewish
G.i. Series: Soldier Ball Game
Grippe: Suitcase
- H -
Hangnail: Coat Hook
High Colonic: Jewish Religious Holiday
- I -
Impotent: Distinguished, Well Known
- L -
Labor Pain: Getting Hurt At Work
- M -
Medical Staff: Doctor's Cane
Morbid: Higher Offer
- N -
Nitrate: Cheaper Than A Day Rate
Node: Was Aware Of
- O -
Outpatient: Person Who Has Fainted
- P -
Pap Smear: Fatherhood Test
Pelvis: Cousin Of Elvis
Post Operative: Letter Carrier
Prostate: Flat On Your Back
- R -
Recovery Room: Place To Do Upholstery
Rectum: Dang Near Killed Him
Rheumatic: Amorous
- S -
Secretion: Hiding Something
Seizure: Roman Emperor
- T -
Tablet: A Small Table
Terminal Illness: Getting Sick At The Airport
Tibia: Country In North Africa
Tumor: More Than One
- U -
Urine: Opposite Of You're Out
- V -
Varicose: Near By
-=[-(r 177)--------------------------------------------------(lp:74.1%)--]=-
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-=[ to rate this joke from 1 to 5. ]=-
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[No Holds Barred] for FEB 11 2009
${top_html_ad}
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiya, Gigglers!
Decided to try out a new font this issue. If it works out OK
I'll fix the length of the lines next issue.
Enjoy!
Papa Thorn Shunt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Elephant
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005fun4ladies.jpg
Horny Care
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005horny-care.jpg
Succulent Dish
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005HumanFoodx005.jpg
Just Kidding
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Just-kidding.jpg
Holy Revelation
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005holy-revelation.jpg
Shoot the bull
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003shoot-the-bull.JPG
VERY Secret
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003sign003.jpg
Spare tire
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003spare-tire.JPG
Good concentration
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003sports0003.jpg
Spare parts
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003taxispares.JPG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VALENTINE'S GIFTS...you STILL have time to get them!
GUYS!!! Don't let this happen to YOU!!!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8410i_love-me-tender-or-else_fun
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
Vermont Teddy Bear
http://tinyurl.com/dkny2p
Ultimate Love charm bracelet
http://tinyurl.com/cl5r5e
Valentine's Day Apparel, Keepsakes, Teddy Bears
http://tinyurl.com/b32spf
PajamaGram!
http://tinyurl.com/czco2g
Save 20% site-wide on Flowers.
http://tinyurl.com/amz2ma
Personalized Gifts for Valentine's Day
http://tinyurl.com/bv4r56
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Calling Tech Support
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39300&s=n
Powered by Budweiser
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39290&s=n
New Bond movie
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003movies-0036.jpg
Pretty useless info
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003multiply-the-voice.jpg
Toughie
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003Optical_Illusion0010.jpg
The Cat in the Hat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0157.html
Somewhere in Harlem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0158.html
What to do with it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0159.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
The People's Court
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39285&s=n
Winter Really Stinks Sometimes
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39278&s=n
I'll Take Creative Solutions for $500,000, Alex
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_solutions.htm
Tim Wilson - Acid Country
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tfYve6pRcA
Hate Bird Droppings
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39269&s=n
Red Tractor-USA
The Best News in the Field
http://www.redtractor-usa.com/
Big funeral? Cremation? Why not get mummified?
http://www.summum.org/mummification/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
!!! GAME TIME !!!
Keepie Up
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38767&s=n
Farm Frenzy Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39073&s=n
Trivia Machine
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38760&s=n
Jig Words
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38746&s=n
Clayside
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38738&s=n
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by
a state trooper.
"You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a
ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several
flies.
"These flies are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Those are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's ass," answered the farmer. "Them
are circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" The trooper
angrily asked.
"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them
flies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
A New Jersey grocery store refused to make a birthday cake for a
3-year-old child named "Adolf Hitler Campbell." They also refused to
let his parents buy the "EZ Bake Oven" the child so desperately wants.
(Todd Long)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human
beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.
A little girl raises her hand 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she
volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could
become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went
'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say 'fuck', the
rottweiler ate him!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
U.S. households are cutting back on debt for the first time ever.
It's amazing how much more financially responsible people become
when they no longer have an income. (Jake Novak)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing Discovery...Whiter Teeth At Warp Speed!
Up to 5 Shades Whiter in Minutes..Not Days!
Makes teeth Whitening Actually Healthy!
Get it Absolutely FREE!
http://tinyurl.com/c6g6by
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A busybody visited her bachelor neighbor and said, "You're 45 years
old and have never been married. I have a lovely niece your age. Say
the word and I'll introduce you."
"Don't bother," the bachelor said. "I have two sisters who look
after all my needs."
The meddlesome woman replied, "That's all well and good, but all the
sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."
The bachelor said, "I said two sisters. I didn't say they were MY
sisters."
I bet that shut her up for a bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
In New Jersey, the state Senate is working on a bill to legalize
medical marijuana. They say it's the one thing that could actually
ease the pain of having to live in New Jersey. (Jay Leno)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you love chatting and sharing email goodies
You may find a bunch of new online friends here...
http://able2laff.com/EZ/chat.html
Do You Like To Get Free Stuff In The Mail?
Get a daily selection of Freebies, coupons,
and unbelievable deals here.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/free.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090211-0, 11/02/2009
Tested on: 2/12/2009 8:50:22 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiya, Gigglers!
Decided to try out a new font this issue. If it works out OK
I'll fix the length of the lines next issue.
Enjoy!
Papa Thorn Shunt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Elephant
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005fun4ladies.jpg
Horny Care
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005horny-care.jpg
Succulent Dish
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005HumanFoodx005.jpg
Just Kidding
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Just-kidding.jpg
Holy Revelation
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005holy-revelation.jpg
Shoot the bull
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003shoot-the-bull.JPG
VERY Secret
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003sign003.jpg
Spare tire
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003spare-tire.JPG
Good concentration
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003sports0003.jpg
Spare parts
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003taxispares.JPG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VALENTINE'S GIFTS...you STILL have time to get them!
GUYS!!! Don't let this happen to YOU!!!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8410i_love-me-tender-or-else_fun
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
Vermont Teddy Bear
http://tinyurl.com/dkny2p
Ultimate Love charm bracelet
http://tinyurl.com/cl5r5e
Valentine's Day Apparel, Keepsakes, Teddy Bears
http://tinyurl.com/b32spf
PajamaGram!
http://tinyurl.com/czco2g
Save 20% site-wide on Flowers.
http://tinyurl.com/amz2ma
Personalized Gifts for Valentine's Day
http://tinyurl.com/bv4r56
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Calling Tech Support
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39300&s=n
Powered by Budweiser
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39290&s=n
New Bond movie
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003movies-0036.jpg
Pretty useless info
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003multiply-the-voice.jpg
Toughie
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003Optical_Illusion0010.jpg
The Cat in the Hat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0157.html
Somewhere in Harlem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0158.html
What to do with it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i0159.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
The People's Court
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39285&s=n
Winter Really Stinks Sometimes
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39278&s=n
I'll Take Creative Solutions for $500,000, Alex
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_solutions.htm
Tim Wilson - Acid Country
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tfYve6pRcA
Hate Bird Droppings
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39269&s=n
Red Tractor-USA
The Best News in the Field
http://www.redtractor-usa.com/
Big funeral? Cremation? Why not get mummified?
http://www.summum.org/mummification/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
!!! GAME TIME !!!
Keepie Up
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38767&s=n
Farm Frenzy Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39073&s=n
Trivia Machine
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38760&s=n
Jig Words
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38746&s=n
Clayside
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38738&s=n
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by
a state trooper.
"You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a
ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several
flies.
"These flies are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Those are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's ass," answered the farmer. "Them
are circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" The trooper
angrily asked.
"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them
flies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
A New Jersey grocery store refused to make a birthday cake for a
3-year-old child named "Adolf Hitler Campbell." They also refused to
let his parents buy the "EZ Bake Oven" the child so desperately wants.
(Todd Long)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human
beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.
A little girl raises her hand 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she
volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could
become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went
'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say 'fuck', the
rottweiler ate him!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
U.S. households are cutting back on debt for the first time ever.
It's amazing how much more financially responsible people become
when they no longer have an income. (Jake Novak)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing Discovery...Whiter Teeth At Warp Speed!
Up to 5 Shades Whiter in Minutes..Not Days!
Makes teeth Whitening Actually Healthy!
Get it Absolutely FREE!
http://tinyurl.com/c6g6by
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A busybody visited her bachelor neighbor and said, "You're 45 years
old and have never been married. I have a lovely niece your age. Say
the word and I'll introduce you."
"Don't bother," the bachelor said. "I have two sisters who look
after all my needs."
The meddlesome woman replied, "That's all well and good, but all the
sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."
The bachelor said, "I said two sisters. I didn't say they were MY
sisters."
I bet that shut her up for a bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
In New Jersey, the state Senate is working on a bill to legalize
medical marijuana. They say it's the one thing that could actually
ease the pain of having to live in New Jersey. (Jay Leno)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you love chatting and sharing email goodies
You may find a bunch of new online friends here...
http://able2laff.com/EZ/chat.html
Do You Like To Get Free Stuff In The Mail?
Get a daily selection of Freebies, coupons,
and unbelievable deals here.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/free.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
--^^--------------------------------------------------------------- This email was sent to: ${recipient} EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://www.topica.com/?pXFOOTER --^^--------------------------------------------------------------- avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090211-0, 11/02/2009
Tested on: 2/12/2009 8:50:22 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
[No Holds Barred] for FEB 9 2009
${top_html_ad}
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Milk dispenser
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Milk-dispenser.jpg
Saucy Mona...wait for it...
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Mona005.gif
Mountie
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Mountie.jpg
American Beauty
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005movies-0031.jpg
Never loses his keys
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005never-loses-his-keys.jpg
Obedience school
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Obedience.jpg
The Passion
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004amovies-0176.jpg
Bat racing
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004asports-Bat_racing.jpg
Bedtime story
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004bedtime.JPG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VALENTINE'S GIFTS...you STILL have time to get them!
*****************************************
GUYS!!! WATCH THIS and DON'T let this happen to YOU!!!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8410i_love-me-tender-or-else_fun
*****************************************
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
Vermont Teddy Bear
http://tinyurl.com/dkny2p
Personalized Gifts for Valentine's Day
http://tinyurl.com/bv4r56
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bus stop 2025
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004BusStop_2.jpg
Toasty car
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Cool-car23.jpg
And we MEAN it, too
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004do-not-little.jpg
Time served
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x009.html
Suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x010.html
Healthy part
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
Hurry up Eno
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
George and I
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x016.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
Jeep vs Snowmobile....on WATER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFLE50892xk
Penguins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?i=38553&pid=1407&u=3463
Beer Diet
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?i=36915&pid=102&u=3463
Odd but amazing list of famous people who've lost fingers.
For the serious trivia nut.
http://www.who2.com/missingdigits.html
Offbeat News Headlines
http://www.1stheadlines.com/offbeat.htm
The Real Unknown Comic - Murray Langston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyo_oi96HHM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Game Time!
Turtix
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39078&s=n
Good Night Kiss
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39237&s=n
Highway Pursuit
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39036&s=n
Police Strike
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39145&s=n
Ninja VS Pirates
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39117&s=n
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard,
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right.
He didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks the way
his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around & smacked the **** out of him...
Like his mother used to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They
couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and
would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket
and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and
picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling
outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his
purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old
lady who told him she was lost.
She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well. as a matter of fact, I live at 1616
Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home but I can't carry this
lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand. Put a chicken under each arm and
carry the goose in the other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old
girl home. On the way he says: "let's take my short cut and go down
this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a
lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that
when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall,
pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil,
two chickens, and a goose How in the world could I possible hold
you up against the wall and do that
The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket,
put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In marriage there's often a glitch
When you find out you married a bitch;
She once was quite nice.
All sugar and spice,
And now she's an evil old witch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Perfect Valentines Gifts
Valentine's Day Apparel, Keepsakes, Teddy Bears
http://tinyurl.com/b32spf
PajamaGram!
http://tinyurl.com/czco2g
Save 20% site-wide on Flowers.
http://tinyurl.com/amz2ma
Ultimate Love charm bracelet
http://tinyurl.com/cl5r5e
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying
because her first period had started and she had no idea what it was.
The girl's teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested
Sheryl talk to her mom.
She was walking home when she ran into little Johnny.
"Why are you crying? Asked little Johnny.
"I'm crying because I'm bleeding," she replied.
"Give me a look," said little Johnny.
She lifted her skirt and showed him.
"Fuckin' hell!" said little Johnny. "No wonder you're bleeding, some
bastard's cut off your c0ck!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- MUSIC -- MUSIC -- MUSIC --
What's that tune running through your head?
Find it or share it with other music lovers...
whom are just waiting for you here!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/musc.html
----------------------------------------------
Do you like a bit of variety in your life?
Check here for plenty of it!
There's a bit of everything here...
Just waiting for YOU!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/mixed.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090209-0, 09/02/2009
Tested on: 2/10/2009 12:07:39 PM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Milk dispenser
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Milk-dispenser.jpg
Saucy Mona...wait for it...
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Mona005.gif
Mountie
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Mountie.jpg
American Beauty
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005movies-0031.jpg
Never loses his keys
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005never-loses-his-keys.jpg
Obedience school
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Obedience.jpg
The Passion
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004amovies-0176.jpg
Bat racing
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004asports-Bat_racing.jpg
Bedtime story
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004bedtime.JPG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VALENTINE'S GIFTS...you STILL have time to get them!
*****************************************
GUYS!!! WATCH THIS and DON'T let this happen to YOU!!!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8410i_love-me-tender-or-else_fun
*****************************************
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
Vermont Teddy Bear
http://tinyurl.com/dkny2p
Personalized Gifts for Valentine's Day
http://tinyurl.com/bv4r56
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bus stop 2025
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004BusStop_2.jpg
Toasty car
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Cool-car23.jpg
And we MEAN it, too
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004do-not-little.jpg
Time served
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x009.html
Suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x010.html
Healthy part
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
Hurry up Eno
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
George and I
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x016.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
Jeep vs Snowmobile....on WATER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFLE50892xk
Penguins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?i=38553&pid=1407&u=3463
Beer Diet
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?i=36915&pid=102&u=3463
Odd but amazing list of famous people who've lost fingers.
For the serious trivia nut.
http://www.who2.com/missingdigits.html
Offbeat News Headlines
http://www.1stheadlines.com/offbeat.htm
The Real Unknown Comic - Murray Langston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyo_oi96HHM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Game Time!
Turtix
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39078&s=n
Good Night Kiss
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39237&s=n
Highway Pursuit
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39036&s=n
Police Strike
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39145&s=n
Ninja VS Pirates
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39117&s=n
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard,
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right.
He didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks the way
his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around & smacked the **** out of him...
Like his mother used to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They
couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and
would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket
and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and
picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling
outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his
purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old
lady who told him she was lost.
She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well. as a matter of fact, I live at 1616
Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home but I can't carry this
lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand. Put a chicken under each arm and
carry the goose in the other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old
girl home. On the way he says: "let's take my short cut and go down
this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a
lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that
when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall,
pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil,
two chickens, and a goose How in the world could I possible hold
you up against the wall and do that
The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket,
put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In marriage there's often a glitch
When you find out you married a bitch;
She once was quite nice.
All sugar and spice,
And now she's an evil old witch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Perfect Valentines Gifts
Valentine's Day Apparel, Keepsakes, Teddy Bears
http://tinyurl.com/b32spf
PajamaGram!
http://tinyurl.com/czco2g
Save 20% site-wide on Flowers.
http://tinyurl.com/amz2ma
Ultimate Love charm bracelet
http://tinyurl.com/cl5r5e
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying
because her first period had started and she had no idea what it was.
The girl's teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested
Sheryl talk to her mom.
She was walking home when she ran into little Johnny.
"Why are you crying? Asked little Johnny.
"I'm crying because I'm bleeding," she replied.
"Give me a look," said little Johnny.
She lifted her skirt and showed him.
"Fuckin' hell!" said little Johnny. "No wonder you're bleeding, some
bastard's cut off your c0ck!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- MUSIC -- MUSIC -- MUSIC --
What's that tune running through your head?
Find it or share it with other music lovers...
whom are just waiting for you here!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/musc.html
----------------------------------------------
Do you like a bit of variety in your life?
Check here for plenty of it!
There's a bit of everything here...
Just waiting for YOU!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/mixed.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
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Virus Database (VPS): 090209-0, 09/02/2009
Tested on: 2/10/2009 12:07:39 PM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
Monday, 9 February 2009
[No Holds Barred] for FEB 6 2009
${top_html_ad}
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bored with sex?
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirt-003.jpg
Rascal
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirts4babys014.jpg
Unknow sextuplet
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Unknowns.jpg
Well balanced...but hairy leg
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Well_Balanced.jpg
Here to Stay
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005ad-AOL.jpg
Collectable seat
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Collectable-seat.jpg
Ice Cream Delight
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Dessertx012.jpg
Cream Soda
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005DrinkUpx005.jpg
Fishy
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005fishy.jpg
Apple snack
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Fruitx005.jpg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Valentine's Day is Coming...
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
Choose from 3 verses or write your own message!
To shop now, please visit the link below:
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Realistic pornography for old men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j081.html
Batteries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j082.html
Authentic masculine experience
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j083.html
Wouldn't you know it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j066.html
The ozone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j062.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
That Diamond Just Might Be Your Best Friend
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_cremation.htm
Dead Puppies - Ogden Edsl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcPvl6oEN-Y
Offbeat News Headlines
http://www.1stheadlines.com/offbeat.htm
Scottish Stun Gun
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8115.htm
Buy your own missle base!
(Minus the missles, of course). Buy me that!
http://www.missilebases.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GAME TIME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aerial Mahjong
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38731&s=n
Slot Machine Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39105&s=n
Deadly Sins Quiz
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=17670&s=n
Guitar Hero Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39116&s=n
Naughty Babysitter
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39224&s=n
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young
woman in a pub and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal
question?"
"Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm
sure you're going to ask me anyway."
"OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have
you slept with?"
"That's my business!" snapped the woman.
"Oh, cool!" said the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living
at it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young nun at a convent had one too many sexual indiscretions, and
turned up pregnant. Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful
that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that
would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth.
And so it did, and upon the evening when the contractions started,
she rushed down into the basement, hoping that no one would hear
either her own moaning, or the cries of the newborn child.
After the birth, panic set in; she didn't know WHAT she should do
with the baby. If she were found with the child, she would be thrown
out of the order, with no place for food or shelter. Knowing that the
Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also having no other options,
she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly crept into the sleeping
Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left the baby, and silently
exited the sleeping chambers.
At sunrise, the Mother Superior awakened, and heard the baby as
it was just waking from a nap. She quickly looked over the side of
her bed, at the child in the basket, fell back in her bed with a
sorrowful look, and dejectedly sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust
your own finger any more!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Transition insiders say that Barack Obama may decriminalize marijuana.
Apparently the economy is so bad that Obama feels the best way to
deal with it is to let everyone get high. (Jim Barach)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like a XBOX 360T, Nintendo Wii,
or a nice new laptop?
Get one by participating in a special promotion?
http://tinyurl.com/628p9y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told
her Mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!"
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It
reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small,
was it?"
Sally replied, "No...salty!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
After leaving office, George Bush reportedly plans to go out on a
speaking tour. That's right. Speaking tour. You can't make stuff up
like this. (Will Durst)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether you're into Signature Tags, Accents or Tubes
You'll find MORE than enough of all these here!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/tube.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delve into the past
and see how it affects events today.
Look into the minds of our Ancestors...
see the similarities of decisions.
Learn from our history and folklore.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/hist.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090205-1, 05/02/2009
Tested on: 2/6/2009 11:19:16 PM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bored with sex?
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirt-003.jpg
Rascal
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirts4babys014.jpg
Unknow sextuplet
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Unknowns.jpg
Well balanced...but hairy leg
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Well_Balanced.jpg
Here to Stay
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005ad-AOL.jpg
Collectable seat
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Collectable-seat.jpg
Ice Cream Delight
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Dessertx012.jpg
Cream Soda
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005DrinkUpx005.jpg
Fishy
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005fishy.jpg
Apple snack
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005Fruitx005.jpg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Valentine's Day is Coming...
Personalized Message in a Bottle for Valentine's Day.
Choose from 3 verses or write your own message!
To shop now, please visit the link below:
http://tinyurl.com/d5y2xf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Realistic pornography for old men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j081.html
Batteries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j082.html
Authentic masculine experience
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j083.html
Wouldn't you know it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j066.html
The ozone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j062.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
That Diamond Just Might Be Your Best Friend
http://www.maddogproductions.com/ds_cremation.htm
Dead Puppies - Ogden Edsl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcPvl6oEN-Y
Offbeat News Headlines
http://www.1stheadlines.com/offbeat.htm
Scottish Stun Gun
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8115.htm
Buy your own missle base!
(Minus the missles, of course). Buy me that!
http://www.missilebases.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GAME TIME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aerial Mahjong
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38731&s=n
Slot Machine Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39105&s=n
Deadly Sins Quiz
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=17670&s=n
Guitar Hero Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39116&s=n
Naughty Babysitter
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39224&s=n
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young
woman in a pub and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal
question?"
"Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm
sure you're going to ask me anyway."
"OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have
you slept with?"
"That's my business!" snapped the woman.
"Oh, cool!" said the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living
at it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young nun at a convent had one too many sexual indiscretions, and
turned up pregnant. Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful
that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that
would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth.
And so it did, and upon the evening when the contractions started,
she rushed down into the basement, hoping that no one would hear
either her own moaning, or the cries of the newborn child.
After the birth, panic set in; she didn't know WHAT she should do
with the baby. If she were found with the child, she would be thrown
out of the order, with no place for food or shelter. Knowing that the
Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also having no other options,
she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly crept into the sleeping
Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left the baby, and silently
exited the sleeping chambers.
At sunrise, the Mother Superior awakened, and heard the baby as
it was just waking from a nap. She quickly looked over the side of
her bed, at the child in the basket, fell back in her bed with a
sorrowful look, and dejectedly sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust
your own finger any more!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Transition insiders say that Barack Obama may decriminalize marijuana.
Apparently the economy is so bad that Obama feels the best way to
deal with it is to let everyone get high. (Jim Barach)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like a XBOX 360T, Nintendo Wii,
or a nice new laptop?
Get one by participating in a special promotion?
http://tinyurl.com/628p9y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told
her Mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!"
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It
reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small,
was it?"
Sally replied, "No...salty!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
After leaving office, George Bush reportedly plans to go out on a
speaking tour. That's right. Speaking tour. You can't make stuff up
like this. (Will Durst)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether you're into Signature Tags, Accents or Tubes
You'll find MORE than enough of all these here!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/tube.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delve into the past
and see how it affects events today.
Look into the minds of our Ancestors...
see the similarities of decisions.
Learn from our history and folklore.
http://able2laff.com/EZ/hist.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
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Thursday, 5 February 2009
JE - Steelers Fans Celebrate
Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wednesday 4th February, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving
this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.
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Wednesday 4th February, 2009 70,000 subscribers
_________________________________________________________
Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving
this email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site.
+ The Starter
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Enjoy folks!
Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email
+ New Funny Pics:
The Steelers Fans..
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/steelers.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/steelers.htm "> AOL </a>
Flip Words
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/snowy.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/snowy.htm "> AOL </a>
Snowy the Bear's Adventures
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/blackbeard.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/blackbeard.htm "> AOL </a>
+ General Joke
A man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
"Methodist," the man says.
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to Room 24, but be very
quiet as you pass Room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
"Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to Room 18, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates.
"Religion?"
"Jewish."
"Go to Room 11, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being Different rooms for different
religions, but why must we all be quiet when we pass Room 8?"
"Well, the Catholics are in Room 8," St. Peter replies, "and they think
they're the only ones here."
For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm
+ Contact Information
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Tuesday, 3 February 2009
[No Holds Barred] for FEB 2 2009
${top_html_ad}
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bored with sex?
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirt-003.jpg
Rascal
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirts4babys014.jpg
Unknow sextuplet
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Unknowns.jpg
Well balanced...but hairy leg
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Well_Balanced.jpg
Here to Stay
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005ad-AOL.jpg
Domino effect
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003domino-effect.JPG
Ninjas Ahead
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003dsign103.jpg
eBay hotshot
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003eBayHotshot.jpg
Head of cabbage
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003food-sculptures007.jpg
Granny night
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003GrannyNight.jpg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let the artist in you go CRAZY!
Body paint & liquid latex
http://tinyurl.com/4fblt5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Domino effect
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003domino-effect.JPG
Ninjas Ahead
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003dsign103.jpg
eBay hotshot
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003eBayHotshot.jpg
Going for four
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z069.html
Mailman helper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
Lawyers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
One phone call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e003.html
Fortune teller
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e005.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aphrodisiacs
5 pages of choices
http://tinyurl.com/4nc2wc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
Robert Lund- You've Got Hogwarts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr-0AYOjs8Q
The Best Appointment Obama Could Make - Ralph Nader as "Car Czar"
http://tinyurl.com/6ahrns
FARK
http://www.fark.com/
Candid Camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2829.html
Recipes! Remember your broke college days when top ramen and an egg
was dinner? These are similar.
http://members.tripod.com/~EvilBobDayjob/lazerecipes.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GAME TIME
Shape Solitaire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38755&s=n
George Bush Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39033&s=n
Blackbeard's Island Deluxe
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39081&s=n
Gazzoline Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39046&s=n
G.I. Jetpack Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39050&s=n
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy dies and goes to Hell. When he gets down there its nothing at
all like he thought it would be. It's just like the beach... clear
blue sky, about 85 degrees, sandy beach and waves as far as the
eye can see.
As the guy starts walking along the beach he comes upon an old dude
he knows who died a few years back. The old dude is laying on the
beach with this super hot little hardbody blonde all wrapped around
him, and a large cooler chest of beer at his feet.
The young guy asks in amazement, "This is hell?"
"Yeah," the old dude responds. "Wanna beer?"
"Sure!" the young guy says as he grabs one from the cooler. After
turning the can of beer over several times he cries, "Hey, there's
no hole in this beer!"
"Yeah," the old dude says mournfully. "Pitifully, there's no hole
in this blonde either."
THIS IS HELL!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist
she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The
receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time
for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life,
I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible
for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the
spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have
in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have
$40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life,
people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I
pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral
that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on
anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me," he
continued, "what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone
almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I
die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with
me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see
what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric
spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could
do around the house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her
husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car
until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while
he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband
didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head
out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow! She's going to let the County bury
her!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?
A. 100 people that don't do dick.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Distinction - Non Surgical Face Lift Kit Free Trial
The proven home system for a younger smoother face.
http://tinyurl.com/63px2b
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before marriage.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read the above from bottom to the top.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a new sex survey they found that 18 percent of people had sex
four or more times a week.
Now here is the interesting part. That number drops to 3 percent
when you add the phrase, "With a partner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you love chatting and sharing email goodies
You may find a bunch of new online friends here...
http://able2laff.com/EZ/chat.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you like to change your wallpaper regularly?
Do you love getting new pictures and artwork in your mail?
Well...you've come to the right place for them all!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/art.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090202-0, 02/02/2009
Tested on: 2/3/2009 9:18:48 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
\\\\\\\\\\ No Holds Barred! //////////
Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
PLEASE support this list by checking out the sponsors!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Bored with sex?
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirt-003.jpg
Rascal
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004tshirts4babys014.jpg
Unknow sextuplet
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Unknowns.jpg
Well balanced...but hairy leg
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=004Well_Balanced.jpg
Here to Stay
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=005ad-AOL.jpg
Domino effect
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003domino-effect.JPG
Ninjas Ahead
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003dsign103.jpg
eBay hotshot
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003eBayHotshot.jpg
Head of cabbage
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003food-sculptures007.jpg
Granny night
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003GrannyNight.jpg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let the artist in you go CRAZY!
Body paint & liquid latex
http://tinyurl.com/4fblt5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toons
Domino effect
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003domino-effect.JPG
Ninjas Ahead
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003dsign103.jpg
eBay hotshot
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=003eBayHotshot.jpg
Going for four
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z069.html
Mailman helper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
Lawyers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
One phone call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e003.html
Fortune teller
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e005.html
Random Joke & Cartoon
http://www.Able2Laugh.com
Stolen Toon of the Day
http://stolen-jokes.com/JPGS/display_pic.php
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aphrodisiacs
5 pages of choices
http://tinyurl.com/4nc2wc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extras...
Robert Lund- You've Got Hogwarts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr-0AYOjs8Q
The Best Appointment Obama Could Make - Ralph Nader as "Car Czar"
http://tinyurl.com/6ahrns
FARK
http://www.fark.com/
Candid Camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2829.html
Recipes! Remember your broke college days when top ramen and an egg
was dinner? These are similar.
http://members.tripod.com/~EvilBobDayjob/lazerecipes.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GAME TIME
Shape Solitaire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=38755&s=n
George Bush Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39033&s=n
Blackbeard's Island Deluxe
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39081&s=n
Gazzoline Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39046&s=n
G.I. Jetpack Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=39050&s=n
Daily Games
Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle
http://able2laff.com/?p=2383
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy dies and goes to Hell. When he gets down there its nothing at
all like he thought it would be. It's just like the beach... clear
blue sky, about 85 degrees, sandy beach and waves as far as the
eye can see.
As the guy starts walking along the beach he comes upon an old dude
he knows who died a few years back. The old dude is laying on the
beach with this super hot little hardbody blonde all wrapped around
him, and a large cooler chest of beer at his feet.
The young guy asks in amazement, "This is hell?"
"Yeah," the old dude responds. "Wanna beer?"
"Sure!" the young guy says as he grabs one from the cooler. After
turning the can of beer over several times he cries, "Hey, there's
no hole in this beer!"
"Yeah," the old dude says mournfully. "Pitifully, there's no hole
in this blonde either."
THIS IS HELL!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist
she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The
receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time
for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life,
I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible
for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the
spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have
in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have
$40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life,
people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I
pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral
that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on
anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me," he
continued, "what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone
almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I
die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with
me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see
what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric
spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could
do around the house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her
husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car
until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while
he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband
didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head
out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow! She's going to let the County bury
her!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?
A. 100 people that don't do dick.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Distinction - Non Surgical Face Lift Kit Free Trial
The proven home system for a younger smoother face.
http://tinyurl.com/63px2b
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before marriage.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read the above from bottom to the top.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a new sex survey they found that 18 percent of people had sex
four or more times a week.
Now here is the interesting part. That number drops to 3 percent
when you add the phrase, "With a partner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Other Lists to Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you love chatting and sharing email goodies
You may find a bunch of new online friends here...
http://able2laff.com/EZ/chat.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you like to change your wallpaper regularly?
Do you love getting new pictures and artwork in your mail?
Well...you've come to the right place for them all!
http://able2laff.com/EZ/art.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....
just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
To Join No Holds Barred
NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
To Unsubscribe
NoHoldsBarred-unsubscribe@Topica.com
Able2Laff - Belly-Laugh Central for Everyone
http://Able2Laff.com
Able2Laugh - For your Naughty Humor Needs
http://Able2Laugh.com
Able2Laugh Humor ezine - Humor of the Sinful Kind
Able2Laugh-subscribe@topica.com
Here is a WIDE variety of fun maillists for you
http://able2laff.com/EZ/
${bottom_html_ad}
--^^--------------------------------------------------------------- This email was sent to: ${recipient} EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://www.topica.com/?pXFOOTER --^^--------------------------------------------------------------- avast! Antivirus: Inbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 090202-0, 02/02/2009
Tested on: 2/3/2009 9:18:48 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2009 ALWIL Software.
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