JE - Desperate Times

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Wednesday 3rd December, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Morning all.
I'm racing out of the door as I type. It's minus 8 here today. No joke.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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I Need a Hug Pleeease
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Old Joke Keeps Getting Funnier
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+ General Joke
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs
and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt she normally slept
in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,
'You've got to make love to me this very moment!' My eyes lit up and
I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky
day!' Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it
my all right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said,
'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her
neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?' She
explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

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JE - Who Needs an iPhone?

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Monday 1st December, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Morning all.
Enjoy the banter folks.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Love Is In The Air
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These Babes are Tough
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+ General Joke
Three barmaids went for a job interview.

Q. to number1.
'If you found ten bucks on the floor, what would you do with it?
A. Number1.
'Stick it in my purse'

Same Q. number 2.
A. Number 2.
'Shout out to the bar, find the owner'

Same Q. number 3.
A. number 3.
'I would put it in your till'

Q. Who got the job?

A. The one with the huge t1ts.

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JE - We're Not Banking

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Friday 28th November, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Weekend time! Oh yes.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Bad Boy Drill
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+ General Joke
Once upon a time, there lived a green man in a green house which was
in a green district. One day while he was bathing, a female friend of
his came round to visit and rang the doorbell. Upon hearing his
doorbell, the green man hastily wrapped a towel round himself and went
to open the door. At that moment, he accidentally dropped his towel
and his friend screamed in shock. Still screaming, she ran off and got
knocked down when she dashed across a road. She died, the end.

What is the moral of the story?

Ans: NEVER cross the road when the green man is flashing.

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JE - Credit Crunch Monopoly

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Wednesday 26th November, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Right guys.
Bit of a short edition today, but nonetheless packed!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Credit Crunch Monopoly
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Monkeys, Mar1juana & Crime
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Obama Irish Song is Smash Hit
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+ General Joke
At his first press conference as president-elect, Barack Obama said
America will succeed if we can put aside partisanship and politics.
In other words, we're totally screwed.

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JE - Hitting Rock Bottom

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Tuesday 25th November, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Morning all.

Had a busy weekend down in the north of England catching up with
my pals I met in Australia a few years ago (for the hardened JE
subscribers, you may recall the 'interesting' photos from my world
trip way back then..

http://www.jokeemail.com/travels/oz/oz1.htm

So, few beers, bit of partying, and then I enjoyed the boxing as
'Magic Man' Malinaggi presented a nice illusion of someone getting
whupped by our local hero Ricky 'Fatton'. Good times.

But back in Scotland today, back to the grind. Joy.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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N1pple Twist
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Kissing Cops Banned
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+ General Joke
An intellectual puzzler to kick off the week!

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one
orders a beer, the second orders half a beer the third asks for a
quarter of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the bartender says
"You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

If you don't get it, consult a friendly maths geek.

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JE - Opinions Best Kept to Yourself

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Friday 21st November, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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I Look Like My Dog
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Dirty Harry
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+ General Joke
The Yuppie was accosted by a hooker. She said,
"How 'bout some relaxing fun honey... only $50... you look all uptight."

"No way!" the man responded. "I'm married!!!"

"So???" queried the hooker.

"My wife only charges $35."

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JE - Hugo Chavez Saves the Economy

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Wednesday 19th November, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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Ho hum. Here's todays humor for you lucky lucky people.

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Gorgeous Person Day
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+ General Joke
It's election day. A conservative goes in to a bar and orders 10 shots of whisky.

One by one is drinks them down.

The bartender, a RINO, says "wow, what was that about?"

The conservative replies, "Just cast my vote for McCain."

Bartender says, "Great, let me buy you another one"

Conservative says,
"No thanks, if 10 doesn't wash the taste out of my mouth nothing will"

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