JE - Who Needs Michelle..?

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+ The Starter
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aha! It's a rare Thursday edition to keep you on your toes!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

+ New Funny Pics:
Who Needs Michelle..?
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Massive Wedgie
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Wikipedia Wh0res Whopper
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+ General Joke
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They

were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight.

Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to

get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got

his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to

complain.
"I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"

"Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."

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JE - Why McCain Lost

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+ The Starter
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Morning folks.
Enjoy the humor..

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Why McCain Lost..
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Retards
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Virginville
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+ General Joke
How you can tell that Sarah Palin is from Alaska:

Sarah Palin knows how to skin a moose with a penknife.
Sarah Palin wrote a Caribou recipe book.
Sarah Palin calls "Baked Alaska" "Baked Here."
Sarah Palin know which leaves are safe to use for toilet paper.
Sarah Palin rides to the Governor's mansion on a stretch snowmobile.
Sarah Palin has waffle soles on her high heels.
Sarah Palin has three pairs of formal waders.
If you ask Sarah Palin what the four seasons in Alaska are she will tell you that they're

Early Winter, Winter, Late Winter and Road Repair.
Sarah Palin's customized snowblower can do 60 on fresh snow.
Sarah Palin keeps her cosmetics in her hunting bag.

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JE - Obama Shows Us How

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+ The Starter
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Howdy folks.
So we have a new President in waiting, and I'm pleasantly pleased.
Aside from the $1000 hole in my wallet which McCain would have delivered
through my genius bet on him in January, I feel Mr Obama is more likely
to sort things out than grizzly John - he did seem a tad bitter towards
the end. The most amusing aspect of all of this is that Palin thinks
she might go for the top slot in 2012! I say take her out onto the tundra
now and put her out of her misery - still, she can at least look forward
to a future of cheap, trashy magazine stories. A career beckons..

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Other Woman's Mucus
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The Man With No Face
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+ General Joke
Some general rules of life..

Advise your children to get you quality gifts. After all, they don't want to
inherit junk.

Beware of a chiropractor who wears a neck brace.

Beware of bargains in life belts, parachutes and heart transplants.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; if you aren't home by then
you're in trouble.

Despite what you read in the papers, people don't usually die in
alphabetical order.

Never hire an electrician with no eyebrows.

Be suspicious if you discover that your car mechanic has clean fingernails.

If lightning strikes, make sure that you're walking next to a tall person.

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JE - McCain Ready to Rule

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One day to election fever.
My eleven month wager on McCain at odds of 20-1 seems unlikely to
deliver a hefty winter bonus for Tommy. But you never know..
you may note I have a vested in the election which makes it
difficult to be impartial!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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Microsoft Merger With McDonalds
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Massive Wedgie
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+ General Joke
An elderly couple was vacationing in the American West. Sam had always
wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. On the next to the last day
of their vacation, he saw the perfect boots on sale, bought them, and
proudly wore them home.

He sauntered into their hotel room and said to his wife, "Notice anything
different, Helen?"

Helen looked him over, and said: "Nope."

Sam replied excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything
different about me?"

Helen looked again. "Nope."

Frustrated, Sam stormed off into the bathroom, undressed, and clomped back
into the room, completely naked, except for his boots.

Again, he asked, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"
Helen looked up and said: "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today,
it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S
HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"

To which Helen replied: "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam; you shoulda bought a
hat."

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Fun4U: Involuntary Muscles

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A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The
subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to
perk up the students a bit, asks her if she knows what her asshole
does when she has an orgasm.

"Sure." she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids."

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Fun4U: Investment Tip

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While I typically do not attempt to give out investment advice, this is
something I can really get behind.

If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be
worth $49.00.

If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year
ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit,
you would have $79.00.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

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JE - Proof Beer is Bad

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+ The Starter
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Eegads.. it's still freezing here. Still, only two days to the
weekend. Things could be worse..

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email

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+ General Joke
A man was out of town on business and met a lady in a wine-bar. They
engaged in conversation which eventually turned sexy. The lady
asked him if he had ever been in a mother and daughter combination,
to which he said, "No".

She then asked him if he would like to experience it. He figured
she was about forty years old and wasn't bad looking so he conjured
up visions of him being with her and her about twenty year old
daughter. He, trying to appear not too eager, agreed that sounded
like fun. So they left the bar to go to her house.

The lady unlocked the door, turned a lamp on low, walked to a closed
door and said, "Mother', wake up, we have company for the night.

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