Thursday, 5 June 2008
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
No Holds Barred! 06-04-08
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Everything above this line is NOT a sponsor of
No Holds Barred! and is put there by Topica.
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Welcome to all the new subscribers!
Anything goes on this list so no one under 18 is welcome!
Double Dates
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/896.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/896.html">Here</a>
Strange Cavern
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/897.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/897.html">Here</a>
Grumpy?
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<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/898.html">Here</a>
Good Excuse
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Reflex - Normal
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/900.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/900.html">Here</a>
Golf Balls...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/024.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/024.htm">Here</a>
Mothers house for milk & cookies
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1831.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1831.html">Here!</a>
What big shares ....
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<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1832.html">Here!</a>
Cheap slut t-shirt shop
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<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1833.html">Here!</a>
Damned difficult
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1834.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1834.html">Here!</a>
Two toon for the price of one...
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<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1835.html">Here!</a>
You've got MALE
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..tell him more?...
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<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1837.html">Here!</a>
There ought to be a law against this!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1838.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1838.html">Here!</a>
Cut It Out!
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Bar Code
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/762.html
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Clean Underwear
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<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/763.html">Here</a>
Mr. Gay?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/764.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/764.html">Here</a>
Extras...
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny704.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny705.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny706.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1177.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1178.html
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1179.html
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Two farmers where discussing who had the meanest dog.
One who had a very mean looking Doberman insisted that
his was the meanest and that it could lick any other
dog in the county. The second just looked at his mangy
old yellow dog and said that he would wager his against
any dog in the country. Well, after some animated discussion
they finally decided to let the dogs fight it out.
After a very short snarling match the old yellow dog
leapt on the Doberman and killed it outright. The first
farmer was aghast. His dog had been beating other dogs
for years and had never had more than a small scratch or
two. He turned to the other farmer and asked, "What kind
of dog did you say yours is?"
The first farmer replied, "Well before he lost his
tail, we called him a Mountain Lion!"
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For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here is a touch of
reality.
* When you are sad...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad.
* When you are blue...I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.
* When you smile...I'll know you finally got laid.
* When you are scared...I will rag you about it every chance I get.
* When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.
* When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.
* When you are sick...Stay away from me until you're well again, I
don't want whatever you have.
* When you fall...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge till the end. Why may you ask?
Because you're my friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Are you embarrassed by your cellulite?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fraud Warning!
WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue
Service," DO NOT OPEN IT!
This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter
claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay
for the operation of essential functions of the United States
government.
This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various big
corporations which depend on subsidies to stay in business.
This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social
Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular
paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the
money to pay for the same misguided corporate welfare the IRS helps
mastermind....It's a Ponzi scheme.
These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out
of billions of dollars. Don't be among them!
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE I KNOW!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come later....just remember there are "No Holds Barred" !!
Everything below this line is put in by Topica and
is NOT a sponsor of "No Holds Barred" !!
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For MORE Great Entertainment Visit:
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Tuesday, 3 June 2008
JE - Profound Obama Speech?
Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL!
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Monday 2nd June, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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Monday 2nd June, 2008 70,000 subscribers
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+ The Starter
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Well folks, I'm back in the UK, battered and bruised after three weeks in Nepal and
India. It was an incident-packed period, however I've been travelling not stop for the
last 30 hours so please bear with me for the next couple of days, over which time I'll
find some energy and update you on this year's 'holiday'!
Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email
+ New Funny Pics:
Profound Obama Speech?
http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/profound_obama.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/profound_obama.htm "> AOL </a>
Even Hippos Need Love:
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/hippo.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/hippo.htm "> AOL </a>
If Dad Raised the Kids:
http://www.jokeemail.com/more/raisekids.htm
<a href=" http://www.jokeemail.com/more/raisekids.htm "> AOL </a>
+ General Joke
A marriage license should be like a fishing license. It expires every
year and if you go out of state you can get a 3-day tourist license.
If you think about it, girls and fish have a lot in common. They are fun
to catch and if you clean and prep them right, most are good to eat.
Also if you decide to mount one you know it's going to cost you plenty!
If you bring one home (no matter how well you treat them) they start going
bad and fresh ones are always better.
So practice catch-and-release.
For more jokes, stroll on over to:
http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm
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Monday, 2 June 2008
Fun4U: Little Johnny 266
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A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented
with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure
how to get the computer going.
The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most
reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name
is," then she walked over to the next child.
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is Little Johnny."
-=[-(r1589)--------------------------------------------------(lp:73.6%)--]=-
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A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented
with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure
how to get the computer going.
The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most
reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name
is," then she walked over to the next child.
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is Little Johnny."
-=[-(r1589)--------------------------------------------------(lp:73.6%)--]=-
-=[ latest jokes online at http://funworld.hehe.at/archive/?id=latest ]=-
-=[ NEW! Go to http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/1589 ]=-
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Fun4U: Roll my own
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A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The
salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that
he looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the
correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for
your wife?"
"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me
a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some
rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
-=[-(r2860)--------------------------------------------------(lp:73.6%)--]=-
-=[ latest jokes online at http://funworld.hehe.at/archive/?id=latest ]=-
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A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The
salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that
he looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the
correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for
your wife?"
"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me
a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some
rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
-=[-(r2860)--------------------------------------------------(lp:73.6%)--]=-
-=[ latest jokes online at http://funworld.hehe.at/archive/?id=latest ]=-
-=[ NEW! Go to http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/2860 ]=-
-=[ to rate this joke from 1 to 5. ]=-
-=[----------------------------------------------------------------------]=-
Saturday, 31 May 2008
MyJokeMail.com Newsletter 05/29/08
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Its been a long time since I've sent one of these. I wanted to let you know I'm still working on the site but things have slowed down lately and I'm hoping to have more time in the future to really ramp the site back up.
If you go the site right now you will see a new Video section that's beta. It works a lot like YouTube in that you can upload your own videos to it. Give it a try check out some of videos I've uploaded and leave some feedback. I have a bunch more to upload over the next few day an! d hopefully some of you have some videos in your email you could share with others and upload.
Keep Smiling!
Mike
http://www.myjokemail.com/
MyJokeMail Quotes of the Day:
http://www.myjokemail.com/
To submit a quote CLICK HEREa>
MyJokeMail Jokes of the Day:
THE GAY BABY submitted by rondetto
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their s! perm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one is smiling serenely.A nurse comes by and to the gays' delight she points out the happy child as theirs.
Isn't it wonderful? one fruitcake says to the other.All these unhappy children and ours is so happy.
The nurse says,Ya sure, he's happy now. But just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his butt.
HEATHER MILLS' DRIVER submitted by rondetto
Heather mills was being driven around the countryside in her limo.
suddenly a cow walked into the road and,unable to stop in time,the limo hit the cow.
slightly shaken up, the driver went to see if the cow was alright.
Is it alright? ,asked Heather.
no ma'am,its dead. Said the driver
Well you were driving,so you can go a! nd tell the farmer.
so the driver went off to the nearby farm,a couple of hours later he came back holding a bottle of wine,his clothes scruffy and messed up.
oh my god,what happened to you?,Heather exclaimed.
Well ma'am explained the driver ,the farmer gave me this bottle of wine, the farmer's wife gave me a kiss,and their daughter made love to me.
just what the hell did you tell them? asked Heather
I'm Heather mills driver and i've killed the cow........
THE F WORD submitted by rondetto
A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."
The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."
The guy however was quite eager to explain to the prie! st why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to list en to his explanation.
"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the green."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy said. "As I went to play my ball a squirrel grabbed it and took off with it."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "As the squirrel was running away with my ball an! eagle swooped down on it and took off with the squirrel and my ball."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "The eagle dropped the squirrel over the green and the ball rolled out of its mouth and finished 5 inches from the hole."
The priest said, "Don't tell - me you missed the fucking putt!"
To Submit a Joke CLICK HERE
MyJokeMail Hilarious Pictures:
*NWS (NOT WORK SAFE)*
New Scam
MySpace *NWS*
Three Brazilian Soldiers
Parking
MyJokeMail Wacky Videos:
*NWS (NOT WORK SAFE)*
Jeff Dunham on Marriage
Dragon Costume
Cialis Commercial
Piss Prank
Third world bomb squad
To Submit a Video CLICK HERE
< tr>MyJokeMail Facts of the Day:
English is the only language that capitalises "I", the first person singular.
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